Yeah, so, amazing much? Let's start at the beginning shall we?
Bad food and no women.
LOL. A) TRUTH. B) Hoosier would totally say that.
He is, of course, well aware that he's got two perfectly good hands and that the frequency of their meetings might indicate that their situation is a whole lot more complicated.
Oh the multitudes of things that says about their relationship right there, all the while being subtle. LOVE that line.
Chuckler really is ridiculously handsy. He's always touching Leckie (which I promptly find screencaps of to flail over when I feel like it -- cause I'm weird) and so that makes the whole first section really, really work. It's so true, and it's so him, and I love the part about Leckie not being prone to distraction because, yeah, that could be a bit dangerous.
I like the contrast that you draw then with Stella. We don't really need to imagine how those two are in bed, now do we? lol.
"Who are you thinking of?" Stella's sweet voice penetrates Leckie's near-sleep and his eyes flutter open. He blushes. "I think I can guess." Stella kisses his lips and then whispers, "You talk in your sleep."
*dies* Not only can I totally hear this but it kind of makes me ridiculously happy that he apparently talks about Chuckler in his sleep. And Stella's reaction to that? So perfect. Excellent set up with that.
Stella asks questions, makes him describe the things they do, the way they are together. She tells him she thinks it's beautiful, finding peace in all that war, finding comfort.
She would think that. I loved her character. A lot. Even though she was in this thing for like 20 minutes total.
Stella tells him he's handsome and holds both of their hands as they walk beneath a gathering of trees.
Hello image, please burn into my brain now. I don't know how that works so beautifully but it certainly does. Why was this not on my screen?
Your dialogue is wonderful. Totally IC. Not that I had any doubts about that but I just can't quote it without quoting like the entire thing. So, yeah, here be the note about the dialogue.
"She's something," Chuckler turns and whispers, his lips ghosting Leckie's ear.
It's totally that last part of the description that has me all kinds of in love with that line.
And then, as if she were always there, Stella is with them on the bed, and she is a kind of soft buffer between them, allows them to slow down just enough.
That is totally how these three would work. She's the outside element and I really like how you worked the dynamics between these three. You have this ridiculously awesome knack for threesomes, you know that? I've never seen anyone, in any fandom, handle them nearly as well as you do. It's just always so...tangible and real.
This feels, to Leckie, like a natural progression, like Stella is some missing piece to this fucked up puzzle
Like I said, just gorgeous. And the comparison to the battlefield -- oh how much I fucking love that.
a comical realization that somebody's still wearing a shoe
This made me laugh. The little details are so great here.
The ending is so, so perfect. Please write more of these three sometime; you do it so fucking well it's astounding. I'm in love with this. A lot in love with it.
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Date: 2010-05-16 03:58 am (UTC)Bad food and no women.
LOL. A) TRUTH. B) Hoosier would totally say that.
He is, of course, well aware that he's got two perfectly good hands and that the frequency of their meetings might indicate that their situation is a whole lot more complicated.
Oh the multitudes of things that says about their relationship right there, all the while being subtle. LOVE that line.
Chuckler really is ridiculously handsy. He's always touching Leckie (which I promptly find screencaps of to flail over when I feel like it -- cause I'm weird) and so that makes the whole first section really, really work. It's so true, and it's so him, and I love the part about Leckie not being prone to distraction because, yeah, that could be a bit dangerous.
I like the contrast that you draw then with Stella. We don't really need to imagine how those two are in bed, now do we? lol.
"Who are you thinking of?" Stella's sweet voice penetrates Leckie's near-sleep and his eyes flutter open. He blushes. "I think I can guess." Stella kisses his lips and then whispers, "You talk in your sleep."
*dies* Not only can I totally hear this but it kind of makes me ridiculously happy that he apparently talks about Chuckler in his sleep. And Stella's reaction to that? So perfect. Excellent set up with that.
Stella asks questions, makes him describe the things they do, the way they are together. She tells him she thinks it's beautiful, finding peace in all that war, finding comfort.
She would think that. I loved her character. A lot. Even though she was in this thing for like 20 minutes total.
Stella tells him he's handsome and holds both of their hands as they walk beneath a gathering of trees.
Hello image, please burn into my brain now. I don't know how that works so beautifully but it certainly does. Why was this not on my screen?
Your dialogue is wonderful. Totally IC. Not that I had any doubts about that but I just can't quote it without quoting like the entire thing. So, yeah, here be the note about the dialogue.
"She's something," Chuckler turns and whispers, his lips ghosting Leckie's ear.
It's totally that last part of the description that has me all kinds of in love with that line.
And then, as if she were always there, Stella is with them on the bed, and she is a kind of soft buffer between them, allows them to slow down just enough.
That is totally how these three would work. She's the outside element and I really like how you worked the dynamics between these three. You have this ridiculously awesome knack for threesomes, you know that? I've never seen anyone, in any fandom, handle them nearly as well as you do. It's just always so...tangible and real.
This feels, to Leckie, like a natural progression, like Stella is some missing piece to this fucked up puzzle
Like I said, just gorgeous. And the comparison to the battlefield -- oh how much I fucking love that.
a comical realization that somebody's still wearing a shoe
This made me laugh. The little details are so great here.
The ending is so, so perfect. Please write more of these three sometime; you do it so fucking well it's astounding. I'm in love with this. A lot in love with it.