krickets: (Default)
krickets ([personal profile] krickets) wrote2010-11-17 08:46 pm

.238

Yeah, so I'm a a bit of a feminist -- not in any studied way. But a lot of my thoughts tend to lean in that direction. And yeah, I did get a tad worked up about seeing some people (not just one person), calling Lori a "whore" or "slut" on The Walking Dead. And I guess there's two reasons that this sort of thing bugs me. And it's not specific to this show, or to any of my lovely flisters. Lori is just a convenient example.

One reason can be (mostly) summed up by what I saw someone post today about the Fringe fandom:

-- Hm, well, coming from the perspective of someone who gets upset when people use words like ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ at any time—not just in Fringe fandom, or in fandom in general, but whenever—it’s because such words carry baggage with them, whether we intend them to or not. They carry negative implications about female sexuality. One of my favorite quotes about the use of these words is this: “[Slut-shaming] is about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior.”

Whatever our reasons are for calling a character a slut or a whore are, the fact of the matter remains that we are, in the process, promoting a worldview that shames female sexualities, especially those that are considered to be “untraditional”. I understand that this is most often not the intention when calling someone a slut, but in the end, it’s not the intention behind the action that matters. It’s the results of the action.
- vengeancebuiltmehastily

And that really is a huge part of why it just makes me crazy when I see this sort of thing. But on top of that , situationally, it just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I am too open minded or too into the whole breakdown of what happens to people when they are thrust into these unimaginable fight-for-your-life hopeless situations. To me, Lori hooking up with Shane after weeks of thinking her husband is dead makes absolute sense to me. It's not discarding her life with Rick, and in fact, when she took the necklace off during the sex scene at the beginning of episode two, the way she handled it, I mean literally the way she touched the object, the way she moved, the way she laid it down, her body language was almost apologetic (if body language can be considered apologetic) and it was almost even what I would call reverent.

I don't have any strong feelings about the character, and I'm pretty sure that I don't even really like the show that much. But I was still shocked to see people reacting in such a negative way to her.

In the end though, I know the specific details don't really matter. No matter what a character has done, what her motivations are, or what kind of a person she is, when I hear those words it's always incredibly offensive to me. I have the same problem with the b-word the majority of the time -- but not always. Even when used in a supposedly positive manner. (Or maybe even especially.)

And don't even get me started on the whole "hbic" thing.

I don't really have much more to say on the matter except that 99% of the time I'm most likely to ignore it. There have been a lot of fictional ladies before Lori that have faced the same judgment -- Kate from Lost being a big one, along with Dexter's Rita -- whether they're being called sluts or bitches or whatever. So it's not exactly a shocker.

My thoughts on this matter are in no way comprehensive, but seeing that Fringe post made me feel like I should address it.

[identity profile] anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com 2010-11-18 02:04 am (UTC)(link)


this forever and ever amen.

i hate fandoms. you can't call women sluts and whores because you don't like them. ffs.

i do disagree with the bitch thing because i think it can be and should be and is being reclaimed, but i also understand why a lot of people still have issue with it. i'm just not one of them.
Edited 2010-11-18 02:05 (UTC)

[identity profile] crickets.livejournal.com 2010-11-18 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
Well in this specific example I'm not sure that it's solely because people dislike her. And I guess I'm not here to tell anybody what they can or can't do. I can say why it's a negative thing and that I dislike it. And it's not even just the words, it's the mindset that those types of words come from.

"Reclaiming" bitch is not really something I'm interested in at all. The hbic thing most of all because despite the "we love these women" assertion that goes along with that, there are still so many problems with it, in my opinion. Not the least of which is that only certain "types" of women seem to be crowned with that moniker. Which is problematic for the "types" of women who get to be called hbics and the "types" of women that don't get to be called hbics. In general I just can't get behind it.

My feelings about these things haven't always been as strong. But more and more I find it just degrading in general.
Edited 2010-11-18 02:19 (UTC)

[identity profile] anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com 2010-11-18 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
well, i don't watch that show so i can't tell you that, but i will never be okay with using slut and whore to demean women. things i have serious rage-filled feelings on forever. as do you, clearly. and, honestly, i think it's totally within your rights to call people out on that. you're not telling them what they can or can't do so much as telling them not to be terrible people?

i do think there is a problem with who gets labeled an hbic and who doesn't and fandom reactions to that. i will definitely agree with that. fandom is really fucked in its way of deciding what female characters merit appreciation and who don't; i function largely outside of most fandom circles so i have no problem with it but i understand people who do. i don't think there's anything wrong with reclaiming bitch as a concept, since it's been traditionally thrown at women who stand up for themselves and that should be reclaimed and i don't like leaving words with people who sling them at me, but i know a lot of people who disagree with me. i'm a big reclaiming fan, though. and i run fuckyeahfiercebitches and i just post awesome ladies there, so i... clearly operate outside of most fandom usage. i think that [livejournal.com profile] flowerings was saying last week, though, that she has the same issues with the usage of 'fierce' (or maybe even fierce bitch i can't remember) as you do with hbic. which is sort of where this paragraph comes from, actually. the way she talked about it. whic his fine, fandoms are shit places and i understand forever having issues with them, i just have different issues with them than you two do. :)

... this comment is much longer than i meant for it to be originally sorry. :D

[identity profile] crickets.livejournal.com 2010-11-18 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Well the issue with Lori truly is based on her infidelity. (But it's infidelity to a man she thought was dead, so for me that doesn't compute at all.)

I guess it goes beyond the hbic thing too. Girls who call their friends bitches probably very often use (or at least THINK of) that word to describe other females who they dislike or who they disapprove of. So even if it is a reclaiming of the word to mean something more positive, I don't feel that it actually works in practice.

I think fierce bitch and hbic are really just synonyms don't you suppose?

Sorry for the edits.
Edited 2010-11-18 02:38 (UTC)

[identity profile] anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com 2010-11-18 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
i mean, still. if a man cheated on his wife (ESPECIALLY ONE HE THOUGHT WAS DEAD) fandom would never call him a whore. and a whore is A: someone who has sex for money or B: something a woman is called when people don't like her sexual activity, and that's shit.

i mean, it's a process. i'd be lying if i said i never used bitch in negative contexts, but 90% of the time it's a positive one and something i'm working on. i just don't like leaving words in the hands of people i don't like. so i will take them back.

oh edits hello

i mean yes. :D
Edited 2010-11-18 02:40 (UTC)