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Entry tags:
[fanfic] we're bleeding out; savages; ben/chon/o; r
title; rating: we're bleeding out; r
fandom, pairing; count: savages, ben/chon/o; ~1230
notes: five things about ben, chon, and o. spoilers for the books savages and the kings of cool by don winslow (and the movie); thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kmousie for the beta!
ONE
Chon doesn't like Ben when they first meet.
Actually, that's an understatement.
A big one.
It's pretty safe to say that Chon hates Ben when they first meet. He's exactly the kind of hippie do-gooder type that just grates on Chon's last fucking nerve. He remembers seeing Ben around school a year or so before they actually cross paths. They're at the tail end of their freshman year and Chon's about to rip some guy's head off in the parking lot after seventh period, when Ben walks up to intervene.
"Brothers," Ben says, obviously high. "Can't we settle this peacefully?"
Ben puts his hand on the bigger guy's shoulder, and Big Guy turns and clocks Ben right between the eyes. Chon watches Ben go down and hit the pavement flat, not even putting up a fight. Meanwhile, there's a crowd forming around them, and all eyes are on Chon, who's just standing there looking at Ben get the crap kicked out of him by B.G.
This is the moment where Chon has to make
a choice.
Later, in his car, Chon reaches into the backseat and pulls out a beer from the cooler, hands it to Ben.
"Here," he says. "For your face."
Ben applies it to his swollen lip for a second, and then to his eye; winces.
"Thanks for that back there," Ben says. "You know, I really thought I had him."
Chon laughs.
TWO
It's exactly the fact that they're so different that O loves them both so much. She's still so young and doesn't know much, but she knows that. It's comforting, really. Like mom's cooking, not that Paqu cooks, or the fact that As the World Turns comes on at the same time every day.
It's something she can count on.
"I was thinking of dropping out of school," O says, and they're all three lying on the beach, O in between them, waiting for the forecast's promised rain.
"No."
"Not a fucking chance."
They both say this at once, and O laughs, because for as different as they are, sometimes they're exactly alike.
"Nevermind," she says, reaches one hand out in either direction to grab them both by the arm.
"O, I think that is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Ben chimes.
"Literally? Ben, I'm disappointed in you." This, from Chon, their resident wordsmith. "Remember that time she said she thought an au pair was a fruit?"
"Oh, yeah," Ben remembers.
"Shut up!" O is saying, but neither of them is listening.
"Can't think of a better reason to stay in school," Chon again.
Ben agrees.
"All right. Geez! I get it." O sits up and smacks them both playfully for laughing, which they continue to do despite her protests. She looks up at the sky. "I don't think it's going to rain after all," she says after a minute.
They both go quiet, searching the clouds with her.
"Wait," one of them says. Looking back on it now, O was never certain which one of them it was.
The skies open up.
THREE
There are a lot of things they don't talk about.
First of all, they don't talk about the fact that O is fucking both of them on the regular. They also don't talk about the fact that Ben and Chon are clearly in love despite the fact that they're not fucking. And it's not just that brotherly love, bromance garbage. This is that kind of romantic I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you...and-you kind of love. Which, really? Is like, some super psychedelic, new-age, mind-blowing bullshit. This is the kind of love that doesn't have a name, so why bother? It's like how the ancient Greeks didn't have a word for blue. Just because they didn't know what to call it doesn't mean it wasn't there.
Does it?
And second of all, they never talk about the fact that Big John put a bullet in Doc's head. They all know it. They all feel it, but at the end of the day, O understands that it had to be done. At the end of the day, O understands that it was Doc or Chon, and if it were up to her? She'd choose Chon. A million times. And Ben would too.
So, why dwell when you don't have to?
Why wonder about the things you can't change?
The shit that never mattered in the first place?
Of course, when Chon's moving inside her, her back against the wall, her voice rising high above them with Ben smoking up in the very next room, it's hard not to think about all of the things they know are true but never
ever
say.
FOUR
Chon's never let Ben touch him.
When they've been together, the three of them, there's no real getting around it. It is what it is. And it's not like they haven't kissed, in fact, it's one of O's favorite things in the world. But for Chon? There are just some areas that are...
Off limits.
But with O gone, and christ, with the very real possibility that she's never coming back? Things feel different.
It's just the two of them now.
Possibly forever.
So when Ben climbs into Chon's bed, puts his arms around him, kisses the back of his neck? Chon doesn't protest. He doesn't even consider it. It isn't too long until Ben's hand finds its way inside Chon's shorts, and he's hard when Ben grips him, tugging him in his palm.
"Fuck," Chon manages to breathe out. "Let me..."
He turns over, and Ben descends upon him, his wet, hot mouth sucking Chon deep. Chon closes his eyes, thinks of O, thinks of Ben fucking O, thinks of him fucking Ben. A mouthful of curses escapes his lips and he sees stars.
After, Chon thinks, this doesn't change a thing.
And it's true.
Because this is always how things were, no matter what they called it -- no matter what they disguised it with.
"We're gonna get her back, Chon," Ben says, and Chon runs his hand through Ben's hair.
"I know."
FIVE
It's a long while before O is okay again.
After.
It's a long while before any of them are okay again, but O especially. She misses her mom. She misses being the girl who loved to shop, who'd never been kidnapped, who didn't really know what it was like to have to suffer.
That girl is gone.
Chon doesn't tell her "That's life," or "You'll get over it," or "Man up," or any of the other things that he might say to Ben if the roles were reversed. Because this is O. But mostly because Chon blames himself. And Ben blames himself too. None of this is in vain. Because the truth is?
They are to blame.
The one person who doesn't blame them is O. She pulls them into her bed every night at 2 AM and they cocoon her in their warmth, their big, safe, gentle arms. Even Chon, who possesses the hands of a killer, and Ben now too. They may have sinned, they may be capable of terrible things. But they are also capable of beautiful things, and they are hers; Ben, with his soft fingertips; Chon, his covered in calluses.
Soft and hard.
Ben and Chon.
North and South.
Life and Death.
Both of them.
Hers.
fin.
fandom, pairing; count: savages, ben/chon/o; ~1230
notes: five things about ben, chon, and o. spoilers for the books savages and the kings of cool by don winslow (and the movie); thanks to
kmousie for the beta!ONE
Chon doesn't like Ben when they first meet.
Actually, that's an understatement.
A big one.
It's pretty safe to say that Chon hates Ben when they first meet. He's exactly the kind of hippie do-gooder type that just grates on Chon's last fucking nerve. He remembers seeing Ben around school a year or so before they actually cross paths. They're at the tail end of their freshman year and Chon's about to rip some guy's head off in the parking lot after seventh period, when Ben walks up to intervene.
"Brothers," Ben says, obviously high. "Can't we settle this peacefully?"
Ben puts his hand on the bigger guy's shoulder, and Big Guy turns and clocks Ben right between the eyes. Chon watches Ben go down and hit the pavement flat, not even putting up a fight. Meanwhile, there's a crowd forming around them, and all eyes are on Chon, who's just standing there looking at Ben get the crap kicked out of him by B.G.
This is the moment where Chon has to make
a choice.
Later, in his car, Chon reaches into the backseat and pulls out a beer from the cooler, hands it to Ben.
"Here," he says. "For your face."
Ben applies it to his swollen lip for a second, and then to his eye; winces.
"Thanks for that back there," Ben says. "You know, I really thought I had him."
Chon laughs.
TWO
It's exactly the fact that they're so different that O loves them both so much. She's still so young and doesn't know much, but she knows that. It's comforting, really. Like mom's cooking, not that Paqu cooks, or the fact that As the World Turns comes on at the same time every day.
It's something she can count on.
"I was thinking of dropping out of school," O says, and they're all three lying on the beach, O in between them, waiting for the forecast's promised rain.
"No."
"Not a fucking chance."
They both say this at once, and O laughs, because for as different as they are, sometimes they're exactly alike.
"Nevermind," she says, reaches one hand out in either direction to grab them both by the arm.
"O, I think that is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Ben chimes.
"Literally? Ben, I'm disappointed in you." This, from Chon, their resident wordsmith. "Remember that time she said she thought an au pair was a fruit?"
"Oh, yeah," Ben remembers.
"Shut up!" O is saying, but neither of them is listening.
"Can't think of a better reason to stay in school," Chon again.
Ben agrees.
"All right. Geez! I get it." O sits up and smacks them both playfully for laughing, which they continue to do despite her protests. She looks up at the sky. "I don't think it's going to rain after all," she says after a minute.
They both go quiet, searching the clouds with her.
"Wait," one of them says. Looking back on it now, O was never certain which one of them it was.
The skies open up.
THREE
There are a lot of things they don't talk about.
First of all, they don't talk about the fact that O is fucking both of them on the regular. They also don't talk about the fact that Ben and Chon are clearly in love despite the fact that they're not fucking. And it's not just that brotherly love, bromance garbage. This is that kind of romantic I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you...and-you kind of love. Which, really? Is like, some super psychedelic, new-age, mind-blowing bullshit. This is the kind of love that doesn't have a name, so why bother? It's like how the ancient Greeks didn't have a word for blue. Just because they didn't know what to call it doesn't mean it wasn't there.
Does it?
And second of all, they never talk about the fact that Big John put a bullet in Doc's head. They all know it. They all feel it, but at the end of the day, O understands that it had to be done. At the end of the day, O understands that it was Doc or Chon, and if it were up to her? She'd choose Chon. A million times. And Ben would too.
So, why dwell when you don't have to?
Why wonder about the things you can't change?
The shit that never mattered in the first place?
Of course, when Chon's moving inside her, her back against the wall, her voice rising high above them with Ben smoking up in the very next room, it's hard not to think about all of the things they know are true but never
ever
say.
FOUR
Chon's never let Ben touch him.
When they've been together, the three of them, there's no real getting around it. It is what it is. And it's not like they haven't kissed, in fact, it's one of O's favorite things in the world. But for Chon? There are just some areas that are...
Off limits.
But with O gone, and christ, with the very real possibility that she's never coming back? Things feel different.
It's just the two of them now.
Possibly forever.
So when Ben climbs into Chon's bed, puts his arms around him, kisses the back of his neck? Chon doesn't protest. He doesn't even consider it. It isn't too long until Ben's hand finds its way inside Chon's shorts, and he's hard when Ben grips him, tugging him in his palm.
"Fuck," Chon manages to breathe out. "Let me..."
He turns over, and Ben descends upon him, his wet, hot mouth sucking Chon deep. Chon closes his eyes, thinks of O, thinks of Ben fucking O, thinks of him fucking Ben. A mouthful of curses escapes his lips and he sees stars.
After, Chon thinks, this doesn't change a thing.
And it's true.
Because this is always how things were, no matter what they called it -- no matter what they disguised it with.
"We're gonna get her back, Chon," Ben says, and Chon runs his hand through Ben's hair.
"I know."
FIVE
It's a long while before O is okay again.
After.
It's a long while before any of them are okay again, but O especially. She misses her mom. She misses being the girl who loved to shop, who'd never been kidnapped, who didn't really know what it was like to have to suffer.
That girl is gone.
Chon doesn't tell her "That's life," or "You'll get over it," or "Man up," or any of the other things that he might say to Ben if the roles were reversed. Because this is O. But mostly because Chon blames himself. And Ben blames himself too. None of this is in vain. Because the truth is?
They are to blame.
The one person who doesn't blame them is O. She pulls them into her bed every night at 2 AM and they cocoon her in their warmth, their big, safe, gentle arms. Even Chon, who possesses the hands of a killer, and Ben now too. They may have sinned, they may be capable of terrible things. But they are also capable of beautiful things, and they are hers; Ben, with his soft fingertips; Chon, his covered in calluses.
Soft and hard.
Ben and Chon.
North and South.
Life and Death.
Both of them.
Hers.
fin.
no subject
this line is KILLING me
They may have sinned, they may be capable of terrible things. But they are also capable of beautiful things, and they are hers; Ben, with his soft fingertips; Chon, his covered in calluses.
:') THESE THREE UGH
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optimisticallyunrealistically) hope this hails some sort of opening of a floodgate and we'll be swimming in Ben/Chon/O fic on the internet soon. <3no subject
Also! I really hope you're right about the floodgates. I could read about these three forever.
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I think that my icon says it all about how I feel about this fic.
And yes I will also be hunting the interwebz for ben chon o fics as well.
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Thank you! I really hope more people start writing them. It's a thing that needs to happen. Basically.
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I'm so excited to read the book, but I'm so glad you have written these already - I was really in need.
♥
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