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[krickets]

→ You know what I don't understand? Fandom. I may or may not be talking about something specific here. [Hmm.] I just feel a lot of posturing and pretense going on in a lot of places. You know when you were a kid and you wanted to be the first one on the block to have the newest Nickelodeon toy [or whatever]? It's kind of like that. Only now, in fandom, we want to be the most enlightened, the most forward-thinking, the one who really "gets it" -- etc. But you know? I don't know if people actually get it. Something about the way fandom behaves at times like this, and yes, individuals within fandom, just seems so fake to me. When there are canned phrases that everybody seems to be repeating ad nauseum, it makes me question the authenticity of those spouting them. It all just feels so rehearsed and because of it, what they're really telling me is, "this is what I'm supposed to say, so I'm saying it." I'm not sure that people are as enlightened as they pretend to be. Or maybe they are, but their reactions don't really reflect how they feel or what they really would like to say. [Nevermind what they understand.] Maybe the sentiment is somewhat authentic, but the handling of it, the wording, whatever, just feels so formulaic and disingenuous. And okay, well what's new? These are human beings we're talking about. But still. Fandom? Why so serious?

→ An ETA: to the above. I understand that there are important discussions to be had and serious issues to deal with, but let's leave a little room for, I don't know, humanness and compassion and for people to make mistakes without having to adopt some false Stepford personality after the fact.

Sorry all of this is so vague.

→ I also don't get when people don't e-mail you back. I mean just in general. Not even related to anybody or anything specific. My e-mails are not forwards. Why do my friends sometimes treat them like ignorable garbage? I would really like to know what causes this type of behavior. That's like saying hello to a close friend in the hall as you pass by and they don't even wave back. Come on, folks. Give me a wave!

[I won't say I've never forgotten to respond to an e-mail or taken too long, but at least I try not to make a habit out of it. What gives?]

→ Keep calm and carry on. ← That? Right there? That's a period. As in "the end." As in "STOP." Don't make me hate this phrase, people. Resist the urge. I beg of you.

→ I'm sure I'll have a more cheerful post later.

Comments

[akzseinga.livejournal.com]

What's happened? Sometimes I feel I'm little out of everything. (But what I did understand it's that sometimes fandom is a bit pretentious and that I can agree with, unfortunately. Unless that's not what you meant at all, but I'm kind of drunk, so forgive me.)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

There have been a lot of discussions lately that led to that little outburst up there. It's not one specific thing -- so you're more or less accurate with your estimation. [Unfortunately.]

[akzseinga.livejournal.com]

Hey, outbursts are good! I may have one in a minute.

/sorry for my drunk comments, should go to sleep and not pretend I'm able to write or whatever/

[viridian.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get it, about fandom. There are phrases that will shut down an argument lightning-quick and if you don't fall in line and spout the right words, you're obviously part of the problem, even if you aren't fully sure what the terms mean or get them on anything but the shallowest level and would like more info. Asking questions is not tolerated. Even if you've read all the relevant stuff people point you to when they refuse to answer your questions, if you still have questions, there's no way at all to ask them without being a clueless asshole. You can't ask the people who might actually have some experience, because "they're not here to educate you", so no one gets to learn anything that might lead to actual understanding.

And, idk. It takes me a long time to take the side of the person who seems the more aggressive in a discussion. But you can't say "look, no one wants to be fucking yelled at in their own space" without it turning into the tone argument or somesuch.

MEH. This is probably not even what you're talking about, but it frustrates me.

[elliotsmelliot.livejournal.com]

I think I get what your saying about fandom. There is definitely an element of performance to it. I don't think this is fandom specific, because I see it (and have bowed to it) in real life communities too, especially among my academic friends. I think it has to do with a desire for acceptance - we act, talk, dress in certain ways to gain membership or status in a group. Often it is natural, but sometimes it involves posturing, especially if you are in the process of figuring things out. You're right that claiming to 'get it' and 'getting it' are two different things, and often the former does not need to be publicly announced or be achieved by condemning others. On a different note, I wonder if the serious tone is often because fandom is not taken very seriously outside of fandom, and therefore we amp it up when we talk about ourselves.

Not answering e-mail is a pet peeve of mine, be it friends or colleagues. I am sympathetic that the nature of e-mail means everyone is seemingly accessible 24/7, and that it not fair to demand everyone be in tune with your own schedule. Still it drives me crazy when people take days to confirm plans or do not respond at all.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Oh, no I totally know what you mean. There are at least three incidents in very recent memory, one that happened over the weekend at some point, that have all kind of set this off. And they all basically have the same elements, more or less. I enjoy the conversations that fandom has, but not when they're so rigid and righteous and self important.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I totally agree that this happens in real life too. But damn if I don't find myself disappointed when fandom doesn't rise above and behave in a different sort of way. Haha.

On a different note, I wonder if the serious tone is often because fandom is not taken very seriously outside of fandom, and therefore we amp it up when we talk about ourselves.

I understand what you mean about where that may be coming from. But to be honest there are times when I just want to say, "Seriously? There are real people out there with real problems! This is not as important as you think it is."

Hahah, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this problem. And if it takes a few days, generally I'm not phased by it. But it's more of the "never" occurances that bug me.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

♥

[fosfomifira.livejournal.com]

Since your comment isn't connected to any incident I'm familiar with, I can't comment on the specifics. I agree that sometimes fandom jumps a little too fast laying down the law on the right way to think™. Sometimes people make honest mistakes, sometimes we really don't know any better. On the other hand, I think some of these discussions are necessary and can actually be educational, though the tone of these discussions could be improved.

I hate it when people don't write back. Like you said, it's if a close friend ignores you.

[ozmissage.livejournal.com]

I always feel like I'm slightly disengaged with fandom. Sometimes I see these discussions going on and I want to join in, but I hate arguing and wank and it almost doesn't seem to be worth the effort. And as you say there does seem to be certain acceptable answers to every debate and that gets tiring too. We don't all think the same way, but you'd never know it from most discussions.

Anyway, I'm sorry fandom's being a pain.

(p.s. How did the yard sale go? I forgot to comment on your last couple of posts, but I loved hearing about how you prepared for it. I love yard sales. They're like a freaking Olympic sport here in the south.) :)

[colourmayfade.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm not sure if I get what you're saying, it's all vaaaaague but I think I see a little of that - not on the discussions that much, maybe because I stay away from discussions anywhere but on my flist (well, aside from The Quill Station) - in people's eagerness to be the first to picspam. I see this ALL THE TIME and though I understand that sometimes you're really excited and everything looks so pretty so you just start right away, so much of it I see as a "need to be the first, get most comments" and whatever. Not sure if this is what you mean though? Oh, I don't know. I honestly don't (or try not to) delve too deep into fandom, I just stick to talking to my friends.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THE EMAILS. I ALWAYS EMAIL BACK, I JUST TAKE LONGER. For me, it's because I have my email forwarded to an application, like Outlook, so sometimes I receive them and read them but I'm busy and can't answer them right at that minute... and then later I end up forgetting to.

(sorry about the edits, I realized that some of what I'd written didn't make sense... not sure that it does, yet.)

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

But still. Fandom? Why so serious?

*shrugs* I think many people do/say things online (whether as a part of a fandom or not) that they wouldn't do/say in person or even over the phone or in an e-mail. Anonymity gives people confidence and boldness, which some people use as a license to be overly blunt/total jerks.

And because we only know about each other what we share, people focus (sometimes too much) on the words we use, etc.

Further, I think people feel more comfortable addressing Big Issues in fandom (because it's anonymous/fictional/whatever) than they do confronting the same things in their lives.

Then, there's the distinct possibility that many people in fandoms are seriously overinvested. *shrugs again*

My e-mails are not forwards. Why do my friends sometimes treat them like ignorable garbage?

Sorry that you feel that way...I have to believe that's not what your friends intend. I know it's not what I intend; work is intense these days.

[beerbad.livejournal.com]

I definitely know what you're talking about in terms of (parts of) fandom. Um, and if any of this is about that current VVC situation... yeah, I don't know how the damn thing hasn't collapsed under the weight of its own political correctness by now. Yeesh. :|

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

...I am so totally lost on what you're talking about re: fandom (at least topic wise), and yet I feel like I should know.

I take forever with the email thing (you know this) but I try to respond. I know it's annoying when people don't, and I think I've gotten better at it.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

There's about three different things that have happened over the past few weeks that have gotten the same kind of reaction out of me. I am so, so tired of "the right way to think" you have no idea. Haha. I completely agree with you about pretty much everything else too.

It's frustrating!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

We don't all think the same way, but you'd never know it from most discussions.

I gotta agree with that.

[Yard sale. I made like 14 bucks, haha. I didn't sell a SINGLE fan and am going to try and give them away to friends because what am I going to do with 36 fans? lol.]

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Not really what my conversation was directed at but I totally know what you mean by that as well. But that's a part of fandom that I can kind of live with. Even though it's kind of... I don't know... upsetting that instead of genuine enthusiasm, people are motivated by... idk, popularity? Popularity is not something I've ever really cared much about, so I can't really understand the motivation there. But whatever, it's kind of a hazard of the community.

Don't worry about the e-mails. That's honestly not what I was referring to. I have this friend back home, high school pal. And he like never answers my e-mails. It's so frustrating. But it's not just him, it's like an epidemic. It's not when people "take a while" to get back to you. It's when they just literally never respond to your e-mail. [Whether that be in person "Oh, I got your e-mail!" or on the phone or in chat or whatever.] That's when it bugs me.

[harlot2.livejournal.com]

I don't usually engage in large-scale fandom, so I suppose I'm a bit spoiled that I don't have people telling me what to think. Then again, my biggest fandom is still a show that isn't on anymore, and when it was its fanbase was actually debate-y, like in a civil way. Ahh, the good old days, when you could pop over to the Bronze any day of the week and actually be excited about the discussions that would pop up...

I do my best to email back, though I don't always get to it right away. I feel the same way about feedback, because I know I like feedback, so I try to give as much of it as possible. That may or may not be related.