Dude. That's just... I have no words.

[krickets]

1. Eyeliner Guy? (Richard!) Is he immortal? Or is he son of Eyeliner Guy Sr.? You decide.

2. Locke, with the dying, only not so much. Cause Jacob clearly wants to be BFFs. OTP? Amiright?

2.5 Um, wtf Locke!? Hasn't Mikhail been through enough? Lay off! Honestly, how random was that?

3. Jacob. This is like, everything bad I've ever said about the writers come to fruition. They couldn't think of anything cool enough to explain away their mysteries so they made an invisible guy with Carrie-like powers. But... they made it cool! Damn you, LOST writers, damn you! It was like, Fight Club meets Carnivale meets Carrie meets, okay I'm out of stuff for it to meet.

4. And the character abuse continues. Kate was weirdly indignant in this ep. Jack was weirdly off in the jungle with Juliet. I understand that they are trying to play up the whole "Jack could be evil" thing for dramatic tension, but it really doesn't make any sense that he'd keep all that crap a secret. Maybe he will make me go "not-buzzah?" in the next episode. But doubtful. Writers, you fail, and yet you win. How does that work??

5. The Jawyer tension was beautiful. I order mackage, stat! "Catching up" = "Making out." You know it's true.

6. Where's... Karl?

7. ETA Ben! I totally forgot my ben-thoughts. Okay I have been seriously digging Ben lately. He's mostly hilarious and well, his hair stands straight up! It's a beautiful thing. So mini-ben was kind of adorable. But he was still creepy. Seriously. Go back and watch. Still creepy! And then with the dad killing, which really, that was an incredibly disturbing scene. And then they took over so they're the hostiles, and not Dharma and we're back to eyeliner guy! He vexes me so! And why would Ben be the leader if eyeliner guy is still around? Why was his nerdy self so awesomesauce that he became leader? I NEED TO KNOW!