damn the man! save the empire!

[krickets]

→ I'm really jealous of everyone talking about starting classes. I need one more class for my two-year and I can't take it this semester because none of them are scheduled during a time I'm not working. Lame. I suppose I could have just taken something else to keep my brain a'working but I didn't really think about it. And now that the semester has started I'm super sad I don't have anything to study and fail miserably at. ;)

→ I watched Empire Records again the other day, but it was the "re-mix" with a boatload of deleted/alternate scenes which were awesome. It was really fun watching the movie again. It still made me laugh and I love all of the characters just as much. I only watched that movie about four and a half billion times since I was 13 or 14. Only. And holy!crap! Berko (Coyote Shivers) looks so much like Zach Braff in that movie it's kinda scary!

→ I keep thinking about the "little hater" that sol_se and I talked about the other day. My Little Hater has gotten beyond ridiculous at this point. Fic... Vids... All of my creative endeavors... they're dead in the water.

I do believe the cycle he talks about is true, that life just gets in the way and then when you finally get the time to come back to whatever it is, you don't feel confident to give it another go, and so you procrastinate and then you feel even less confident so you procrastinate some more. That really sums it up perfectly. The question is: if I know what the problem is, I should be able to... overcome it, right? I just need to make myself sit down and create something and ignore that nagging voice inside my head.

Comments

[gigglemonster.livejournal.com]

*slaps yo little hatter!* i really agree though. you should just sit down and make something no matter what! create first, judge later :)

i realllly liked Empire Records! The characters were awesome and the music was fun and it was just a totally cool movie!

Also you can SO have one of my classes if you want! How does advanced algebra and trigonometry hit ya?

♥

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I was never a big fan of the Mad Hatter. He was kind of annoying! ;P

Maybe I will write tonight...

No thanks.

who knows where thoughts come from?

[nyoka.livejournal.com]

Ah, another Empire Records lover here. I knew all the lines, all the scenes by heart when I was in junior high. Gah, I loved that movie.

I love that little hater video. It explains so much for me too! *sigh*

Re: who knows where thoughts come from?

[crickets.livejournal.com]

They just appear!

Same here! I could recite the entire thing practically! If you haven't seen it you should check out the re-mix! There were so many added scenes!

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

It's us against them (the little head!haters), people! Well, I enjoy your fic and vids. :-) Whatever you create I'm usually happy with. Even the Jawyercita which I wasn't even aware existed!

But I do have some imperfect fics on the HD myself. Not letting them out. But I do still create if just for me. We don't all have to see it. Just make something for you. And have fun with it!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

We gotta beat 'em back! *takes up arms*

Aw, well I really really wanna write! I feel like taking prompts some days but I just know I'll never write them all so I don't do it. Grr.

And yay! Jawyercita, haha. I really miss writing them.

I left my notebook on my desk so I won't be able to stare at it blankly tonight. But I'm sure I've got another one laying around here somewhere.

*goes to look*

[ageless-aislynn.livejournal.com]

Z.O.M.G. That "little hater" vid is just amazing! Thank you so much for passing that along! I get caught in all of those same exact traps where you just lose confidence in yourself as you try to reach these increasingly higher and higher levels of unobtainable perfection (yet you feel like you HAVE to do that or why are you even bothering to try?). :S

As to how to overcome it... Well, I've been trying starting small. I had negative confidence in my writing (as you know, having been lucky *cough* enough to read my many rants on the subject ;) ) so this go-around I started with drabbles because I figured that even I could write 100 words, even with that Evil Inner Editor aka little hater (love that, it's so true) screaming at me in my head. And then I had some nice responses and I wrote a few more drabbles before I attempted a longer fic. I set it at 6 chapters because I thought that was long enough to let me kinda stretch my legs but not so long that I'd get bogged down trying to "maintain" it.

And this is where your entry and that vlog have really hit me at a great time. I'm working on the 4th chapter, right? The first three had awesome responses and what am I doing? I'm dragging out this 4th ch because I'm feeling pressured to keep EARNING those responses, because I don't want to have people say, "Oh, that started off good then tanked." But if I start writing for those reason, I WILL tank. Because I'll get so focused on making it "perfect" and trying to leap over this ever-increasingly higher bar, that I'll finally give up out of despair. :S

Anyway, that's what I took from all of this, to just go back to doing something, whether it's a fic or vid or artwork or just whatever, and do them because I want to. I already know I'll do my best on them before I post 'em up somewhere and if my best isn't good enough, well, then it was never going to be good enough, right?

So I hope that you're able to do the same; find something small, a drabble or ficlet or vidlette of something that you would like to read or watch, and just casually write/vid it. Just to prove you can to yourself. It really will make you feel better because, if nothing else, it'll cancel out that second-prong little hater attack that says, "And look at how worthless you are! How long has it been since you wrote/vidded something, you loser?" (Does yours talk to you like that? Mine surely does! O_O :( )

Thanks again for that! Best of luck doing an end-around on your little hater! *big hugs and chocolate chip cookies* And apologies for the novel I just wrote in your comments. *blush* ;) ♥!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. It's so true!

If it's been a long time since I've written anything, it's mostly just the "all your previous successes and projects were a fluke" kind of thing, hahaha.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

how true, about the vicious circle of procrastination leading to lack of confidence. I really need to shake it!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

*grabs you and shakes*


Better?

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

yes =D

thank you!

*opens Word*