[fanfic] forever (just the word that she says that means never); grey's anatomy; arizona/alex; r

[krickets]

title; rating: forever (just the word that she says that means never); r
fandom, pairing; count: grey's anatomy, alex/arizona; ~1770
notes: post s8; for this multi-fandom comment fic meme. (except I'm super lame and wrote my own prompt)


Sometimes he opens his mouth and Robbins gets this look on her face and he's sure she's going to strangle him.

But she doesn't.


-


Sometimes?

Karev opens his mouth and says something so stupid that she knows she should want to strangle him.

But she doesn't.


-


The first time they fuck it's at the end of a really, really, good argument.

Arizona is saying something about how the only way she could get him to stay was by almost dying, and how there's no way she's going to go through that again, not for him, so don't you even think about it, mister! And Alex is saying, Oh, please! You think I stayed for you? Is that what you think? How fucking arrogant can you get? And Arizona is dumbstruck and her voice catches in her throat when she asks, Then why did you?

That's when Alex presses her against the locked supply-room door. And for some stupid reason he thinks of Izzie, so he pushes the thought back and instead it's Lucy, or Lexie, or that one nurse with the curly hair, and a dozen other girls he's made out with in supply closets or on-call rooms or stairwells or bathroom stalls. But right now it's Arizona's voice in his ear, and she's pushing him off of her, but only just, and she's catching her breath, and her hand is sliding up his chest and neck, and she's saying his name and it jolts him back to the here and now.

"I want...," she says, breathes really, before adding, "But I..." And Alex imagines all the ways she could finish that sentence. I'm your superior, or I don't sleep with men, or I'm still not over Callie, or I'm so fucking mad at you right now. or even just, I can't. But the only thing he really cares about is: I want...

She wants.

She wants him.

And even though there's a million reasons why not, Arizona's voice quavers and she can't bring herself to say a single one of them out loud.

He leans his forehead into hers and says her last name once, to make sure she's looking at him, shakes his head.

"I don't care."


-


So, that happens, and Arizona is pretty sure it's a one-time thing. No, she's definitely sure it's a one-time thing.

And it's true that for about half a minute she finds herself letting him get away with more than she would anyone else. But then she sees that trademark smirk on his face and she's grabbing him by the collar. "Dr. Karev, get your ass over here," she hisses, and maybe she does have to close her eyes to keep from thinking of his ass, her nails scraping across his skin, that little ow! she elicited from him, and the way she had giggled afterward. But she shakes her head at him, disgusted, and gives him a little thwack on the back of his neck, reminding him, not in so many words, that he doesn't have some kind of pass now, just because he got into her pants, or because she likes him, which she does, god knows why, or for any other reason for that matter.

Alex sighs and lowers his head, annoyed more than anything. She catches him rolling his eyes. "Alex, I mean it," she warns again.

"Give it a rest already, would you?" he says. "I get it."

Defeated.

Obedient.

Alex.

And Arizona thinks, Now this is more like it.


-


They're at Joe's and he's sitting at the bar and he's vaguely aware of Arizona flirting with the pretty new anesthesiologist across the room at one of the far-away tables.

Cristina takes a swig of from her bottle and mumbles something about Dr. Robbins getting to the new girl before he got a chance, and Alex hops off the stool, stalks off to the bathroom.

"What's wrong with him?" he can hear Meredith saying as he walks away, and he can't help but wonder the same thing.


-


Alex has got his head toward the ceiling, half-way through a good, long piss, when the bathroom door opens and it's Arizona walking right into the men's restroom, not even flinching at the two guys who give her a look as they leave, not to mention the sight of Alex taking a leak right in front of her.

"Do you mind?" he says, trying to sound as grumpy as possible, and he doesn't have to try that hard.

"What is your deal, Karev? You've been giving me the stink-eye all night."

"I haven't been giving you the... whatever that is," he says, mumbling the last part.

"Oh yeah?" She's got her hands on her hips and her lips look like they've just been kissed and Alex forces himself to stop staring at her mouth, tucks himself in and zips up his pants before he walks over to the sink.

"It's all in your head, sweetheart," he tells her, cutting on the faucet.

She crosses her arms now. "Sweetheart? I thought we weren't going to do this."

"Do what?" Alex wipes his wet hands on his jeans.

"Complicate things," she says, and there is a kindness in her voice that Alex chooses to ignore.

"And what would make you think that?" he snaps. And, of course, it's true. It's not like they set up any ground rules before he stuck his penis in her. There wasn't exactly time for all that.

"Common sense," Arizona snaps back, and Alex turns on her then, backing her up against the wall so quickly that she gasps before her hands find his shoulders.

He leans in, lets his stubble slide across her cheek before whispering in her ear. "You first."

-


So this becomes a thing.

It's not a thing they talk about, or a thing that other people know about, but Arizona's got an apartment to herself now, and it's not like Jackson and April notice much if he's missing from his room at night. So it just so happens that there are a lot of nights when he finds himself footing the six or seven block walk to her place.

She holds the door open for him and he usually lets her close it before kissing her.

They're only nearly discovered once. It's Teddy who's in Seattle on a consult, and Alex was stupid and didn't even think about the possibility that she might be staying in Arizona's guest room. He makes up some story about needing to drop off some files but forgetting them back at his apartment, and Teddy gives him this look that tells him she's not buying it for a minute.




He apologizes when he sees Arizona in the elevator the next day. "That was dumb," he says. And as it turns out, screwing Arizona Robbins makes him an even bigger idiot than he usually is.

"Teddy figured it out," she tells him. "She's not as stupid as she looks. Besides, it was pretty obvious." And then, off his guilty look, "Don't worry. She's got a flight out tonight. It's not like she's going to say anything to anyone."

Alex leans into her, takes in the scent of her shampoo, lets one hand rest at the small of her back until the elevator doors open.




Later, when he's on her couch and they're finishing off last night's wine between rounds, he asks her, "Why are we keeping this a secret again?"

"Because," Arizona takes the glass from him, sets it on the coffee table, and slides into his lap. "Because, we are."


-


Sometimes it's like he just doesn't get it.

He catches her eye from across the room at inappropriate moments, he winks at her when other people are looking, and they just think he's being Alex. But Arizona knows, this isn't Alex just being Alex. This is him wanting her to be something that she's not.

So, the facts are pretty irrefutable: She's sleeping with him. And she likes it. But the other part of this equation is that she's far too old for a sexual identity crisis. This isn't exactly college, and even if it were and she wasn't, Alex isn't exactly long-term relationship material.

At least... she's never thought of him that way.




"You remember that I'm a lesbian right?" She asks him one morning before an early surgery, and the irony of her being draped naked across his chest when she says this is not lost on her.

He kisses her, slides his hand between her legs, and Arizona bites her bottom lip when his thumb moves over her clit.

He whispers into her ear, "You sure about that?"

Arizona closes her eyes, and Alex swallows her voice with his lips, and in that moment, she doesn't have an answer for him.


-


Alex doesn't want anything from her, he just wants her, so when he kisses her under the mistletoe at the hospital's annual holiday party in full view of everyone, open-mouthed and until they're both in need of air, he isn't trying to make some kind of bold statement. He's simply got a belly full of eggnog and it's one of those moments where he just lets the liquid courage and his instinct take over.

She doesn't stop him, doesn't push him away, but her face turns bright crimson and afterward she untangles herself from him a little more quickly than he would like.

Later, Meredith nudges his arm.

"I knew it," she coos. "I just knew it."

Alex rolls his eyes. "You did not," he tells her.

Meredith just laughs.

When puts on his jacket on to go, Arizona finds him, takes his hand in hers, and they walk out together.


-


Once, she tells him, "I don't want to have kids."

Alex traces a finger down the back of her neck and he doesn't say anything about Callie, Mark, and Sofia, out in New York, or how he knows she still calls them every Sunday. Instead, he just kisses her shoulder and says, "Me either."


-


They still fight like they used to, with passion and fire and angry words. And Arizona still never lets him get away with a god damn thing.

Alex promises her that he'll never ask from her more than she can give, and the only promise Arizona makes is that she never will. (Make any promises, or let him get away with anything.)

He's pretty sure this will all end just the way it started, stubborn heads and mouths going at each other like rival school children.

If it ends.

Or even if it doesn't.

fin.

Comments

[gigglemonster.livejournal.com]

Fantastic! As usual :)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Thanks.