[i love you] where's my shirt?

[krickets]

[Poll #1721356]

ETA: Just to clarify. slybrunette and I were chatting earlier and we were both wondering whether or not there was something wrong with us that we can't recall using this phrase in dialogue and that we can't imagine doing it because it seems so cheesy when we write it or think of writing it -- in our brians. Hence, poll.

Comments

[knopflergroupie.livejournal.com]

Once for sure. I was sixteen. I'm tempted to go through all my fics and check now.

Oh wait, hang on. I just did, in a drabble. But it was a ten-year-old girl talking to a grown man, so. Maybe that's a little ironic?

I'm not really interested in most pairings once they've confessed their love for each other in such a manner, so this isn't something I usually have to deal with anyway. My thought on a great big "I love you" is that if you're going to use it, you'd better have a damn good reason.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with this last part. I just wish I knew why! Haha. And yes, damn good reason!

[knopflergroupie.livejournal.com]

Okay, I've skimmed some old fic, and it turns out I use "I love you" only when the characters really, really don't, but are trying, and/or are fucking other people. Apparently I'm not merely indifferent to "I love you," I'm actively cynical about it. Who knew.

If the pairing is going to go to the verbalized "I love you" place I kind of tune out because (in my opinion) most of the time that's the least interesting way to express that you love someone. Also, words are words. Maybe it's just me, but "I love you" is so out there, all the time, and it means almost nothing to me at this point, because it's so easy and stale and simple and I don't think love itself is supposed to be. /three cents.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Haha, maybe that is my problem too. The cynicism.

I wouldn't say I tune out but it's definitely not my most favorite couple moments. Unless they're both about to die or something. (Cal & Chloe! MY HEART!)

[ageless-aislynn.livejournal.com]

Considering that most of my fanfic has been for a pairing where neither one of them would go for the big, dramatic, "slow-mo pull-in from across the field while their hair is blowing *cue the chorus of "I Will Always Love You"*" moment (at least, they wouldn't in the way I usually interpret them, I should say ;) ), no, I've never had them say "I love you." (I did manage what I thought was a quite respectable fake-out, though, in a multi-chaptered fic where she had to tell him something shocking by the end and she went with, "I love... pears." ;) )

I think it can be done without sounding like you just packed up your fic and sent it to Cheese City ;) but it's tricky. Honestly, I think if you're dealing with a character who WOULD naturally say it in your opinion, then it can be handled fine. :D

I also think it works in established relationship fics ("Love you, see you tonight," he said as he went off to fight the aliens from Zormbat 4. "Yeah, love you, too," she replied absently as she successfully stopped the computer virus from erasing the entire Internet. ;) ) where it doesn't have the same sort of emphasis on it: "Hey, look, it's a BIG RELATIONSHIP MOMENT!" *hands it a sign* ;)

My two cents, you can has. :P ;) ♥!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

Why do you rock? Please divulge your secrets.

I LOVE YOU.

[ageless-aislynn.livejournal.com]

Awwww, shucks! *scuffs toe against the ground* Your poll just made me get some thinky thoughts on the subject and I decide to share. :D I'm just glad it didn't sound like "blah blah nonsense blah blah love you blah." (Or, you know, the equivalent. ;) )

It's funny but I tend to get uncomfortable writing anything that's serious, straight-up romance. I like to keep things on the silly/humorous side, which probably says something deep and profound about me... *checks to see if her Freudian slip is showing* :P ;)

*squishes you* ♥♥♥!!!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

You need to write for TV. Seriously.

Also, I do mostly angst and smut. That probably says something deep and profound about me as well...

Hmmm...

[anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha

i mean i write a lot of shippy fic. and i happen to think i'm decent at it. there's nothing wrong with using i love yous in it as long as you do it right. we're here to reflect people's actual feelings, and actual people describe their actual feelings as i love you. as with anything else in fic, it can be done well or it can be done really poorly. it's all about how you craft it. sometimes i use it, most of the time i don't, it really depends on what's going on and who i'm talking about. some characters will never say that. some characters will say it and think it's not enough to describe the things they're feelings, so they'll try and find another way to prove the point. some characters say it and it's the easiest thing because they've been bottling it up for months, years. it's all about the time, place, how you've built these people. i have serious feelings on fic.


/soapbox :D

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Oh no see, I mostly meant it sounding cheesy when you yourself write it because Steph and I were talking and wondering what the hell is wrong with us that neither of us can remember ever using it in fic.

We're love deficient. lol.

I totally agree with this, and I also have feelings. Only they're just less defined than yours, haha.

[anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com]

ohhhh when i myself write it.

yeah sometimes i'm like 'nope.' i love yous are often short cuts. i only use it as a confession. this means it is very rare. but when i type it i have to triple check that it works because it's such a risky move. i've only used it a handful of times.

i don't know why i have such feelings on fic but i really do, it's so pathetic.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I guess I just have never found that point where I am COMFORTABLE writing it but maybe if I just let it happen it would work. But the truth is I avoid it at all costs, so much so that it doesn't even enter my thought process as a possibility.

See, these people DO love each other, and maybe they even say it, but I'm not going to show you. You just have to... guess!

[gigglemonster.livejournal.com]

If anyone can make the I love you sound NOT cheesy, it's you my dear.

FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN (according to ABC voters, the best movie line in the history of cinema)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha. I'll believe it when I see it.

Do you know that "Luke, I am your father." Is a total misquote?

[crickets.livejournal.com]

The correct quote is:
o Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
o Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
o Darth Vader: No. I am your father.
o Luke Skywalker: No... that's not true! That's impossible!

[theladyscribe]

Jumping in to say that this made me all nostalgic for the Star Wars Rap ("he told me enough, he told me you killed him!"). Ohhh good times.

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

By which I mean it's always cheesy in fic, but occasionally it is the good kind of romantic cheesy that I can't get enough of.

I am a sap, but a reluctant one.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha.

I mostly meant when writing. Like I can't bring myself to write it. I AM NOT THAT TALENTED!

♥ Hi!

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

HI, BB. :D YOU ARE SO THAT TALENTED.

I've written it in one thing that I can remember, but I felt like such a hack.

Other things that are fun: showing love without using the words.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

But they can still use their mouths!

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Exactly.

[zelda-zee.livejournal.com]

I've used it... once? I think only once, although I don't have a problem with it and would use it again in the right circumstances. People who love each other tend to say those words, so if you're writing a fic about people who are in love it seems reasonable to me to use it.

That said, I do believe it takes a good writer and exactly the right sort of fic and it has to be said in exactly the right tone to not be cheesy. But it can be done.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I think if I wasn't so terrified of it I might use it. I think in larger, plottier fics it probably works better than in the angsty/smutfests that my fics turn out to be, haha.

I can't say that I've read it that often, but I don't ever recall reading it and thinking anything negative. I just can't conjure up a scenario in my own brain where writing it wouldn't be so cheesy. It's totally a my-brain thing.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that I did it at least twice, but I don't know how much it counts since one was an AU and in the other I have 20000 of build-up before getting to it XD maaaybe I might have done it a couple other more times but I couldn't swear on it, so stands to reason that I don't do it that often. Mostly because you're totally right that most times it seems cheesy, and anyway most pairings I write are made of emotionally stunted people and it'd take them ages to feel comfortable with saying I like you, let alone I love you. Also I don't like when it's overused because other than cheesy it might get overdone/OOC, but there are occasions when imo it's not cheesy (mostly when it's long stories with long build-ups and when they actually say it they earned it XD) so yeah I guess it depends a lot from the context. But I wouldn't rule it out as cheesy without appeals. ;)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I think for the most part the fic that I read doesn't really lend itself to these kinds of confessions, so not only can I not remember writing it but I am having a hard time thinking of a time when I have read it too -- although I'm SURE I must have.

It's just one of those things that stays far far away from my fics, haha. I can't bring myself to do it! Which doesn't mean it can't be done well, just that it can't be done well by me.

[gregoria44.livejournal.com]

Haha! I do remember you posting about this some time ago, and your opinion on the whole 'I ♥ you', and I always think of it when writing those awkward moments of long-term passion, which is why I remember!! :D

Thereby the difference between fic and real life, because Bloke and I are always saying 'I love you', and it never feels cheesy. There again, it's usually as the result of subtle feelings regarding specific events or moments, none of which would carry if someone was dull enough (or foolish enough) to write our story down!

So, yeah. I'd usually avoid those three little words in fic. Far better to convey that love in the ways that are interesting to read.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Haha yes. As I recall I even started a comm about this very subject! But this was more about my own writing than other people's. I just find the words so hard to write convincingly. Even if I ever did have the perfect opportunity to write those words for a character, I would probably end up deleting them later, haha.

[stainofmylove.livejournal.com]

I can only remember using "I love you" once in my own fic ... but to be fair, it was a guy saying that to a girl after she brutally murdered someone to prove herself to him. Sooooo. Not exactly hearts and flowers. Lol.

Over all, I think we get enough "I love you's" or tell-y expressions like that in canon. In fanfic I'd much rather deal with (and read about) the actions that say so much more than words ever could. Or the inarticulate words that say more than those pat expressions ever could, at least.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. Yes, no hearts and flowers there. Well -- maybe a heart, hahaha.

Yeah maybe that's the thing. It's definitely used in most canon shows. And so maybe that is where my aversion to it comes from? Not that I don't find it convincing in the show, but yeah -- it's just too, I don't know, too defined? LOL.

I like my angsty smut with a side of ambiguity? I don't even know.

[lovegood.livejournal.com]

I think you're on to something! I'm trying to recall the last time I read those three words in any literature, and am really wracking my brain. You hear it in movies and on tv all the time, but that's not really a relatable medium. Personally I think it's a good instinct that you don't feel you can/should write that specific phrase. You can relay that message (and after reading some of your amazing amazing fics, I know this is true of you) without using those specific words just fine. I think that's a fundamental part of any writer's talents, isn't it?

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Yeah that's true, it's definitely more frequently used in movies and television than written. I think it would probably be more common to have a character THINK about loving someone or being in love with someone, than to actually say it out loud to that person.

Show, not tell, etc. I am not sure how talented I am in that area, haha. But yes. I honestly just don't feel comfortable writing it. It makes me giggle almost! Haha.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

heee, I did it myself once too that I recall (maybe I am blanking other times, though). And Rodney let it slip when he was drugged on truth serum, but then later clarified. I just cannot bring myself to write it believably, I guess. But sometimes it's well done and cute and I do like to read it =D

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Aw, Rodney. I love him. NO CLARIFICATIONS NEEDED.

See, it's that easy, lol.

I just don't think I feel confident enough in myself to write those words. Really, truly. I am so so sparse on dialogue anyway. It would be difficult for me no doubt.

[tellshannon815.livejournal.com]

I honestly can't remember for sure, and hadn't really thought about it. I'd use it if the circumstances called for it.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I don't even know how it came up in the conversation but both of us realized we couldn't remember using it and were like "that's a little disturbing!" haha.