putting the ick, in ficktion: why slashers hide

[krickets]

Snow day! I have been looking through del.icio.us for slash meta to help me brainstorm for ideas when we talk about why there is so little Battlestar slash in the fandom over at bsg_slashathon. I haven't found much that is particularly useful when it comes to that discussion, but I am finding plenty of other thought-provoking topics.

One is the following entry, The Slash Closet by fairestcat, written about a year and a half ago. While the entry is dated, I don't think the topic is.

In it, she talks about how slashers are a relatively closeted bunch, who tend to hide their fannish activities from the people in their lives. Not only that, but she talks about how it seems like the normal thing to do. The post opens up the floor for discussion as to why that is. Why the secrecy? Why is it seemingly the status quo?

My thoughts:
This may be redundant, but personally, I think it has more to do with fanfic in general than it has to do with the slash. I read and write both het and slash fic, and my family and those close to me don't really know much about either.

Why? Simply put; they just don't get it. I might as well wear dead birds in my hair or start eating live snakes for breakfast or something. I would just get strange looks and a dismissive, "Huh, well isn't that interesting."

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I don't go to great pains to hide the fact that I participate in fandom. And while I'm not giving most close to me my livejournal address, I'm sure my mother knows I at least read and/or write fic, but beyond that, they don't know very much with some exceptions. While I do show my family and friends my vids on occasion, they just wouldn't understand fan fiction, what it is, that its purpose is, or why I participate in it.

In their eyes, most specifically, my parents, it would be putting my good talent to waste. It's not productive, it doesn't contribute to the household or to society, so it would be seen as pointless and looked down upon. I choose to keep it in the closet so-to-speak, because I don't feel like being belittled for something that is essentially a hobby.

A few of my friends get it, and I do share that part of myself with those select few. Others get the writing aspect and I have reluctantly shared some of my fic with them, but nothing sexually explicit that's over PG-13. Which is for the same reasons that I suspect a guy wouldn't show his mom, or his girlfriend (usually) or his colleagues his playboy collection for the sake of being "open and honest."

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Now, I'm not equivocating either het fic or slash fic with that sort of pornography. I, personally, don't see it that way in most cases. (Though I can't exactly justify pure PWP in any other way - haha.) But it doesn't matter whether I see it that way or not, because people outside of fandom would see it that way.

(Note: I have to say that if I did have a SO, my fic wouldn't be something I'd want to hide from him at all.)

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I do feel that it was a bit disheartening to see fannish habits put into the same category as sexuality. As though to say that by hiding the fact that you're a slasher is like hiding who you truly are. Let's say I really really like cooking shows, but since I'm a horrible cook, I don't tell anyone about it, and I only watch them when I'm alone. Would that be put into the same "self-denying/hiding" category?

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I think worth noting here is Wincest and other incestuous pairings. I have shown my mother my Jawyer vid. (Her response: "I'm sure they would appreciate you making it look like they're gay, KC!") But I don't think I'd ever show her a Wincest vid or a Jawyercita (or Jack/Claire) vid. I feel pretty confident in saying that incest is an entirely different animal, whether the pairing is same-sex or opposite-sex.

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Another thing I wonder about is perspective. There are people who only slash. There are people who only het. (And probably gen as well, but let's leave them out of it.) And there are people who do both het and slash. I fall into that latter category, so I can comparatively say, that what I share with friends and family isn't effected by whether it's slash or het, it's equal all-around.

So what do you guys think? Do you hide/separate your slash habits from your real life? What do you think that means or doesn't mean? Why? Why not? Etc. etc. blah blah blah, GO!

Poorly constructed indeed! Forget about the poll. I had to do it multiple times and the last time I forgot to include options for people who don't share at all. (The first two times I made it I did though. Rats!)

Comments

[cynthia-arrow.livejournal.com]

My closest friends all know I write fanfic, that it's porn, and that most of it is slash. It's something that they don't mind talking about, especially if they can lovingly rib me about "the buttsex." One of my male friends is gay, and while he was initially confused about why I'd write about two guys together when I'm a straight woman, he doesn't seem disturbed by it, just amused. I try to scandalize one of my a straight male friends by telling him pairings for shows he watches, or sometimes he'll ask me; it's like a game now. It's weird, too, because my best friend and I have had conversations about her opnions about porn in her own marriage (negative ones), but she doesn't judge me. And her sister--a good friend of mine who, from a writer's standpoint, finds fanfiction blasphemous--doesn't judge me, either, even if she's also a prude.

People in my English Department know I write fanfic. I ended up telling a whole class last year. Most of them were creative writers, and they were more interested in it being erotica than in who was doing the fucking. I did tell some of them that I write guy on guy, and they weren't fazed. They're too frakkin' "cosmopolitan" to let themselves be scandalized. ;)

I've had one boyfriend since I started slashing, and he knew and wasn't grossed out by the porn or the gay porn. He was a snob who thought fanfic in general was ridiculous. But, anyway, I didn't hide it from him.

All that said, I guard the secret of my LJ username with my life. Only two people in my RL know it, to my knowledge. I'm okay with the idea of people I look in the face knowing what I do. (Some people. I'm still around a lot of conservative adults and/or profs I don't need thinking about me as a "dirty sex writer.") I'm less okay any of them being able to actually read it. [ETA: I think the two people who know my username I'm okay with, because one couldn't care less about fanfic and the other is my sister, who doesn't read the explicit stuff.]

But I've always been like that about any of my writing, fanfic or not, porn or not. It's an ego thing. It's why I don't use a beta. I'm a chicken.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I think with friends it's a different story. I have a deeply religious friend and I would never ever bring it up with her. Het or slash it doesn't matter. And I find it weird talking about it with my friends from "back home" that I don't see on a regular basis. On our rare catch-up phone calls it might be a strange thing to mention. Hahaha.

But for the most part, I would probably say friends are a different story altogether. Back in the day when I wrote Creek!fic (thank god it's all been wiped from the world! scary!) my friend in high school (a guy friend!) would read all my stories. Haha. And he didn't even watch DC. My coworker and close friend at the library knows all about it and she has an LJ herself. And is on my flist! Hahah, and we've discussed it with her younger sister and her mom even reads fanfic! Haha. So I think my peer-group is one that I would be more inclined to explain the fic thing with, if it ever really comes up.

And there's also my pal Bradley (gay), with whom I share everything so he knows all about it. I sent him a Wincest fic once and he responded with. "...it had my attention." Hee. And he knows where to find my LJ if he were so inclined.

So I think it totally has to do with the people who are around you. How open they are to fannish things, fanfiction, or slash, etc.

I feel like this comment is totally rambly.