putting the ick, in ficktion: why slashers hide

[krickets]

Snow day! I have been looking through del.icio.us for slash meta to help me brainstorm for ideas when we talk about why there is so little Battlestar slash in the fandom over at bsg_slashathon. I haven't found much that is particularly useful when it comes to that discussion, but I am finding plenty of other thought-provoking topics.

One is the following entry, The Slash Closet by fairestcat, written about a year and a half ago. While the entry is dated, I don't think the topic is.

In it, she talks about how slashers are a relatively closeted bunch, who tend to hide their fannish activities from the people in their lives. Not only that, but she talks about how it seems like the normal thing to do. The post opens up the floor for discussion as to why that is. Why the secrecy? Why is it seemingly the status quo?

My thoughts:
This may be redundant, but personally, I think it has more to do with fanfic in general than it has to do with the slash. I read and write both het and slash fic, and my family and those close to me don't really know much about either.

Why? Simply put; they just don't get it. I might as well wear dead birds in my hair or start eating live snakes for breakfast or something. I would just get strange looks and a dismissive, "Huh, well isn't that interesting."

-

I don't go to great pains to hide the fact that I participate in fandom. And while I'm not giving most close to me my livejournal address, I'm sure my mother knows I at least read and/or write fic, but beyond that, they don't know very much with some exceptions. While I do show my family and friends my vids on occasion, they just wouldn't understand fan fiction, what it is, that its purpose is, or why I participate in it.

In their eyes, most specifically, my parents, it would be putting my good talent to waste. It's not productive, it doesn't contribute to the household or to society, so it would be seen as pointless and looked down upon. I choose to keep it in the closet so-to-speak, because I don't feel like being belittled for something that is essentially a hobby.

A few of my friends get it, and I do share that part of myself with those select few. Others get the writing aspect and I have reluctantly shared some of my fic with them, but nothing sexually explicit that's over PG-13. Which is for the same reasons that I suspect a guy wouldn't show his mom, or his girlfriend (usually) or his colleagues his playboy collection for the sake of being "open and honest."

-

Now, I'm not equivocating either het fic or slash fic with that sort of pornography. I, personally, don't see it that way in most cases. (Though I can't exactly justify pure PWP in any other way - haha.) But it doesn't matter whether I see it that way or not, because people outside of fandom would see it that way.

(Note: I have to say that if I did have a SO, my fic wouldn't be something I'd want to hide from him at all.)

-

I do feel that it was a bit disheartening to see fannish habits put into the same category as sexuality. As though to say that by hiding the fact that you're a slasher is like hiding who you truly are. Let's say I really really like cooking shows, but since I'm a horrible cook, I don't tell anyone about it, and I only watch them when I'm alone. Would that be put into the same "self-denying/hiding" category?

-

I think worth noting here is Wincest and other incestuous pairings. I have shown my mother my Jawyer vid. (Her response: "I'm sure they would appreciate you making it look like they're gay, KC!") But I don't think I'd ever show her a Wincest vid or a Jawyercita (or Jack/Claire) vid. I feel pretty confident in saying that incest is an entirely different animal, whether the pairing is same-sex or opposite-sex.

-

Another thing I wonder about is perspective. There are people who only slash. There are people who only het. (And probably gen as well, but let's leave them out of it.) And there are people who do both het and slash. I fall into that latter category, so I can comparatively say, that what I share with friends and family isn't effected by whether it's slash or het, it's equal all-around.

So what do you guys think? Do you hide/separate your slash habits from your real life? What do you think that means or doesn't mean? Why? Why not? Etc. etc. blah blah blah, GO!

Poorly constructed indeed! Forget about the poll. I had to do it multiple times and the last time I forgot to include options for people who don't share at all. (The first two times I made it I did though. Rats!)

Comments

[angelikitten]

I'm gonna be blatently honest - het actually squicks me out, and I'm bi. Work that one out!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

...even I can't figure that one out... lol.

[meresy.livejournal.com]

(For the sake of argument, I'm calling myself as reader only. In the Day, I wrote some gen and het(ish) fic. Pray you never see it.)

Anyhow: I read primarily slash. That's my primary interest and that is the majority of what is produced by my fandom.

I think you're right when you say that for some people it may be more about the fanfiction than the slash part. I'm privileged to live in a very tolerant family and peer group, so the slash angle might get me eyebrows, but nothing serious. Explaining WTF fanfiction is about would take longer. ;)

I had to check all "other" because I share my fic habit offline not at all, not even with my closest friends (I don't have an SO, but I'd probably share after a while in that case). It's a difficult topic to broach: my favourite homoerotic stories based on Canadian media, let me show you them. Errk?

Let's not even start about RPS . . .

[crickets.livejournal.com]

WTF is fanfiction, indeed. I can't say that if the fanfic itself wasn't an issue that I would share or talk about anything above PG13, slash or not. That's my cut-off haha.

Sorry about the poll. I had to do it three times and the first two I included the "never" option but forgot the third time. Perfect! I've taken it out.

[zelda-zee.livejournal.com]

I've only ever been interested in slash. I've read some het, when it's written by friends, and though I recognize that the writing's good (because my friends are good writers) I just can't get interested.

I hid the fact that I was into fic/slash for years, but once I started writing it got really awful hiding it from my husband. He knew I was writing all the time and yet I was all weird and secretive about it, so finally I just told him. It really felt like coming out. Of course, I had to explain fandom and fic and slash and everything from the very beginning cuz he had no clue about any of it.

Since then I've told 3 of my best RL friends about it and of them one has read my fic. A couple other friends know I write fic, but not the slash angle. I do have a number of friends who don't know, for the reasons you outlined above. They just wouldn't get it.

I feel best being open about it, but I recognize that's not possible with everyone. Some people would just be freaked at the idea that I was into writing/reading explicit gay sex. Can't imagine why. ;)

I think you're right about the concept of fic being as weird to people as the concept of slash. It's freakin' hard to explain, that's for sure, and it seems to be really hard for people to wrap their minds around why the hell I'd be into such a thing.

metafandom often has interesting posts about slash and fic and the like, if you haven't checked there for articles.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Wow that's interesting, you kind of ran the gamut on the scenarios I would have asked in my poll if I hadn't mucked it up. Haha.

I really do think it comes down to a couple different kinds of issues, which is one, the fanfic itself, two, the sexual content, and finally, the slash aspect of it. It really is three separate issues.

I also think that mainstream media like Brokeback Mountain has made it more acceptable for people to explore/be interested in/write stories about gay characters. Queer as Folk too, to an extent. (Which I have watched with my mom on occasion!) Both of which are part of the reason I think that I was able to show my mother my Jack/Sawyer video.

Which is a good thing, I think.

[bachlava.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty discreet about my fandom habits in RL - fandom is a hobby of mine, but it's also a major source of procrastination... ah, well. And in my small world (academia always seems like one, at least when you're a grad student), I don't need to be known as "The one who writes fanfic where the characters have all the sex." Writing slash (and het) isn't "part of who I am" so much as "something that I do for fun." And my mother definitely does not need to know about the racier bits of it. ;) So, yeah, I pretty much agree with you.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

For me, it's not really an issue, at the moment of whether it's slash or het. I said this to zelda_zee that it's really three separate issues, one of fanfic itself, one of the sexual content, and one of slash... I find the first two to be more difficult to explain than the last one. If I ever got past the first two, maybe I'd say differently, but honestly, I don't feel the need to ever get to that point. Hahaha.

[killmotion.livejournal.com]

I prefer het, mostly. But I will, on occasion, read slash. It depends on the author and the storyline. No slash pwp. That makes it seem like all the author is doing is sex sex sex. I like stories. With content. If there's a story with slash I'm good. But slash and a bit of a story is just not my cup of tea. I'm completely fine with people who truly are gay or bi it's just I'm not into making people gay or bi in the storyline if they're canon straight.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time getting into PWP whether it's het or slash so I know what you mean about the context. The occasional PWP I enjoy, admittedly, but only if written well, and honestly, the ones I do enjoy find some way to sneak in a little plot! Haha.

ETA: That's not to say I don't enjoy a heavy dose of porn in my fics haha, but there generally has to be some substance as well. My one attempt at PWP ended up much more plotty than any PWP should ever have right to be.

[hollywoodgrrl.livejournal.com]

This was a very interesting read!

But merr...the thing with me and slash, and I think it's just a fundamental thing that I'm not getting, is that unless it's in the canon it's just not my thing. The fic I prefer is definitely het, and preferably the het that I don't really get enough of in the show. It's very interesting, but in a way, I think BSG has a tiny amount of fic in general because it's so damn sex-filled on screen! Like, I don't need to read Lee/Kara because I had TOO DAMN MUCH of it in the show.

That said, for some crazy ass reason, I wrote Gater, and I don't even see that whatsoever. It was a thing. I have no idea.

Anyway it really bothers me a lot that in the SGA fandom, McShep is the BIGGEST THING since sliced bread. And people actually prefer it when really, it makes ZERO ZERO ZERO sense with the character of John Sheppard to be gay. And therefore it's dumb as it's so unsupported by canon. At least in my opinion.

[cynthia-arrow.livejournal.com]

*butts in*

Re: canon... I love love love het in canon, but in fanfic, writing/reading canon pairings bores me, maybe because they're already on the screen. I can't get into writing it. I write best (and enjoy reading most) when there's the challenge of making something I haven't seen--like slash or non-canon het--seem like it belongs in canon. Obviously, we need very different things out of fanfic. :)

But you're right--I can only think of one or two examples of seeing legitimately slashy undertones between two ostensibly straight men, and it def. wasn't on BSG. (House/Wilson on House; Clark/Lex on Smallville.)

[cynthia-arrow.livejournal.com]

My closest friends all know I write fanfic, that it's porn, and that most of it is slash. It's something that they don't mind talking about, especially if they can lovingly rib me about "the buttsex." One of my male friends is gay, and while he was initially confused about why I'd write about two guys together when I'm a straight woman, he doesn't seem disturbed by it, just amused. I try to scandalize one of my a straight male friends by telling him pairings for shows he watches, or sometimes he'll ask me; it's like a game now. It's weird, too, because my best friend and I have had conversations about her opnions about porn in her own marriage (negative ones), but she doesn't judge me. And her sister--a good friend of mine who, from a writer's standpoint, finds fanfiction blasphemous--doesn't judge me, either, even if she's also a prude.

People in my English Department know I write fanfic. I ended up telling a whole class last year. Most of them were creative writers, and they were more interested in it being erotica than in who was doing the fucking. I did tell some of them that I write guy on guy, and they weren't fazed. They're too frakkin' "cosmopolitan" to let themselves be scandalized. ;)

I've had one boyfriend since I started slashing, and he knew and wasn't grossed out by the porn or the gay porn. He was a snob who thought fanfic in general was ridiculous. But, anyway, I didn't hide it from him.

All that said, I guard the secret of my LJ username with my life. Only two people in my RL know it, to my knowledge. I'm okay with the idea of people I look in the face knowing what I do. (Some people. I'm still around a lot of conservative adults and/or profs I don't need thinking about me as a "dirty sex writer.") I'm less okay any of them being able to actually read it. [ETA: I think the two people who know my username I'm okay with, because one couldn't care less about fanfic and the other is my sister, who doesn't read the explicit stuff.]

But I've always been like that about any of my writing, fanfic or not, porn or not. It's an ego thing. It's why I don't use a beta. I'm a chicken.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I think with friends it's a different story. I have a deeply religious friend and I would never ever bring it up with her. Het or slash it doesn't matter. And I find it weird talking about it with my friends from "back home" that I don't see on a regular basis. On our rare catch-up phone calls it might be a strange thing to mention. Hahaha.

But for the most part, I would probably say friends are a different story altogether. Back in the day when I wrote Creek!fic (thank god it's all been wiped from the world! scary!) my friend in high school (a guy friend!) would read all my stories. Haha. And he didn't even watch DC. My coworker and close friend at the library knows all about it and she has an LJ herself. And is on my flist! Hahah, and we've discussed it with her younger sister and her mom even reads fanfic! Haha. So I think my peer-group is one that I would be more inclined to explain the fic thing with, if it ever really comes up.

And there's also my pal Bradley (gay), with whom I share everything so he knows all about it. I sent him a Wincest fic once and he responded with. "...it had my attention." Hee. And he knows where to find my LJ if he were so inclined.

So I think it totally has to do with the people who are around you. How open they are to fannish things, fanfiction, or slash, etc.

I feel like this comment is totally rambly.

[elise-509.livejournal.com]

I appreciate and agree with all your thoughts here, KC. As for me, my fam knew I wrote fic back when I first started, I'm assuming they still realize that's what I'm writing. But I don't really bring it up, though I've told them I totally think Jack and Sawyer should get it on. I have a hard time telling people I write fic because I've been made fun of for it in the past when I have. It's hard to get over.

There's a few RL friends who know and who have read my stuff, because they write fic too so there's trust there. But I think the main reason I get embarrassed about the slash is that my stuff is so sexual. I'm not really a very open boisterous person who gives out TMI about my own life, so when people I know read all this sexual stuff I write, I get a little red in the face because it's not an aspect of myself I usually show. It's a little like talking about sex with your parents, a modesty and openness comfortability thing.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

You know that's exactly how I feel. I don't know that I've ever been blatantly made fun of for fannish activities, those that I have admitted to people, but certainly felt looked down upon or patronized.

I think people hear fan (and fannish activities) and their brains automatically go to (and I'm sorry if this offends anyone) TREKKIES. It's not exactly a positive picture of what it means to be a fan or what fans are like. I myself don't know any Trekkies, but public perception of them is of some of some weirdo sub-culture, freak show. It's obviously not an accurate representation of fandom, but it is the go-to picture people have in their minds of what it means to be an active fan.

But really, how far removed are guys dressed like a Storm Trooper from football fans with painted faces/bodies, foamy fingers and stupid hats? Not that far, I'd say.

Talking about our fannish activities, slash-oriented or not, risks getting labeled a "freak." Sad but true.

[oregonblondie.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely in the same boat with regard to the separation of my "fandom life" and my real life. I don't hide anything, my parents know I write fanfiction and make icons Sometimes I get a little flack, but I think that's just because my family is sort of mean anyways. XP

Even though it's not something I actively hide (in fact, I don't even really talk about my LJ at all except in a vague reference to "a friend" or something), it's still cool to talk about it in the open (which is why, as much as I hate my sister, we can still gab away about fandom things).

I, personally, don't see it that way in most cases. (Though I can't exactly justify pure PWP in any other way - haha.) But it doesn't matter whether I see it that way or not, because people outside of fandom would see it that way.

This is something I have been thinking about recently. My rents like to swing twoards and away from personal freedom on whims. Like, I'm not allowed to surf the web in a separate room (a quieter area where I might not go crazy from the noise) because they're afraid I'll be exposed to porn or something, I guess. But I read PWP; I read NC-17 and R and PG-13 rated fic and I don't tell them (because I don't tell them about any fic I read, because they don't care). And, in fact, I've written some "racy"-ish things, even though I'm most definitely not experienced in that arena. I think it's writing either way, no matter what it's rated (unless, of course, it's just bad) and I enjoy reading things.

It's an interesting meta. Meta on meta, if you will.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I totally feel you on the "sort of mean" family. *sigh* That's why we have our flists. Solidarity, sister.

I don't think I actively hide either. With the exception with, as you mentioned, those "racy-ish" things. Hehe. Someone above said it best, there's sharing and then there's sharing. And I'm a grown woman! There are just some limits to how much you share with your family and certain friends. There has to be. And I don't really see anything wrong with that.

[demonqueen666.livejournal.com]

My closer friends know I write fic, but then they tend to at least read fic, if nothing else: they already know what it is. My parents know I write fic if only because otherwise they'd be wondering why I lock myself in my room to type on the computer for hours and days at a time, but I've never told them what any of it's about. Definitely not "I write a lot of gay porn about characters on shows you guys watch too". Aheh.

I remember one time in high school I tried to talk about a Harry Potter fanfic I'd read with an accquaintance who wasn't into fanfiction. She looked at me like I was a dinosaur robot alien from Mars. I wasn't even talking about a particularly weird one: it was about a drag show thrown at Hogwarts for charity, and, no, there wasn't any gay. I've seen mainstream sitcoms with premises like that. But still, I get the minorly freaked out look.

This is the premise of fanfic, I guess: "I want to tell my own story in someone else's universe." Maybe it's because something happened that I didn't like or I wish something had happened a diffrent way or I have an idea for something that could happen, or, hell, just because.
Me, I've always been a writer. And even without knowing it, I think I've always been a fanfic writer: some of my first memories are of walking in my backyard imagining alternate endings to the Aladdin movie. When I discovered the internet and that there were other people that did this and that you could write down these ideas and share them...this is going to sound so corny, but I think it was like I'd been walking around my whole life with wings on my back and now I finally knew what the hell I was supposed to do with them.

Everyone I know who "gets" fanfic is usually a writer of some sort. I think you just need to have this thing already in you that gets the idea of telling stories. I don't know, like it's an inherant part of your make-up or something. Your brain needs to be open to certain things, and if not you're never going to "get" it.
I've always been a fic writer and always viewed the world that way, so I guess I can't really understand the thought process of someone who doesn't think like that, because I've never been that way. I suppose the same is probably true in reverse.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I suppose you're right about writers getting it more than anyone else. Like I think my family gets the concept of fanvids (a little, anyway) because everybody at one time or another has seen a music video and can appreciate the medium to an extent. Not only that, it's something they can actually see (and only takes a couple minutes of their time) and in a way that helps them to quantify it? They can see the finished product of what I do. Not that they couldn't read my fic if they were so inclined, but I think that's different because it's not immediate. (And I probably wouldn't want them to read my fics anyway!)

[ultraviolet9a.livejournal.com]

I share your "they won't get it" thing. Only select few know, and they're the ones that brought me into fanfic, so.

Other than that, i'm more or less an "anything" writer, with a tendency for gen mostly. Lately crossovers are my fav kind, and i've written slash as well, but again, it's not about sex, it's about dynamics.

Wincest squeaks me, generally speaking. But i have read one or two wincest pieces that were highly recced, because the writing did indeed kick ass, and the sex wasn't about sex. It made sense there.

Slash wise, i like slash probably only in Whedon verse (angel and buffy, not really firefly) mainly because there it just... worked for me, you know? Vampires and kink and death and life and all that.

In SPN as a rule it doesn't. Not for me.

In the same respect, even though I've written het, and occasionally might read it, when it's focused entirely on the ship and the sex it might wear my reader stamina out and simply bore me. I need the sex to just.. .light sth up, you know? It has to tell me sth about a character that i haven't figured out yet. I don't know how to explain it and it probably doesn't make sense, but there it is.

Uhm. Yes.

To each his own, I guess. :)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

It's definitely all about the audience. And I totally get what you mean. I'm not a huge friend of the PWP although when it seems like established fanon or when it's done well I can get into it. But everything really needs to gel and be a part of a bigger whole or I just can't dig it.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

those are all interesting points! I agree on most and I really liked that meta post...

the thing is that I discovered fanfic on my own quite recently (and mostly by accident, 3 years ago) and to my knowledge, no one I know in RL is aware or interested in it. so yeah, I think they would not get it and therefore judge me in a way. raise their eyebrows and think "what a stupid waste of time. you are 35 years old, with children, I'd get it from a teen".

This fall, in the bus, I've seen a woman my age reading a printout of a story from Fanfiction.net (yes, I may glance over sometimes, I am one of those annoying curious persons! lol). I was fascinated. the first outward manifestation that I am not alone in this city doing it (I KNOW I am not alone! lol! but it seems like it!). I don't watch Gilmore Girls, but I saw the fandom and "Dean" and I know that is Jared so I was all squeeing inside: OMG! maybe she's a Jared fangirl? She was so raptured in her reading, but was sorta defensive and hiding the paper (from me, the annoying fuck probably! lol!) so I just kept my mouth shut.

My family knows I have an internet life but I am so very vague about it. I've went on trips to meet friends and even brought Marti home at my parents for New Years but "we like the same TV shows". They don't know about fanfiction. I NEVER talked to my family about sex, I will not say I'm writing porn either! I'd be mortified. and Wincest? That's just... No.

My husband does know about my reading and writing of fanfiction, and he doesn't seem to care. hiding it from him would have been too much of a hassle, and I know he's understanding of my fannish activities. I did tell him I wrote porn: it turned him on, I think he's curious. I told him about slash? he think it's weird. So I didn't tell him I write mostly slash. it is hiding by omission, and I don't like it.

Having no one in real life to speak about slash/fanfic became a bit much for me, and I guess I was in a talkative phase so I confessed everything to a friend of mine, one I have known for about 3 years and been closer for like 6 months (so a new friend, not one that expect me to be a certain way because she's known me for 15 years). I was SO nervous to do it. and she was driving at the time and it became awkward for a little while. She didn't get it, or so I thought. But I kept on talking, and talking (Wincest was mentioned! lol!) and I think she thought I was crazy! But days later, she began teasing me about it (I could see that her opinion of me being very vanilla, which I look like, switched so I am now "crazy") and it was ok. she asked to read, I sent her something very low on the explicit factor. She seemed to like. so maybe, just maybe, we all worry for nothing and should be bolder.

but I am not ready yet.

(hee, look at that, ramble ramble!)

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I think making this post was sorta cathartic for me. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Reading everyone's stories, especially yours about your friend, prompted me to tell one of my dearest friends about it. (In e-mail.) I even directed her to this post. She's open minded enough, very much so, so I don't think I ever had anything to fear. But we'll see how it goes. Haha.

[barefoot-chick.livejournal.com]

I will read a lot of fanfiction, if it's good. I've been stuck in McShep land lately. I will also write anything that comes to mind. Granted I don't write fic very often these days, but it can be slash, het...whatever.

I think my sister and you are the only two people in RL who know about my fanfiction. My sister has piles of fanfiction scattered around the house. My dad made the mistake of reading a Jack/Daniel story and now teases my sister about it and probably will continue to tease her until the end of time about it. Gah, so annoying! Reason #222 why I moved out of my parents' house.

I would tell a few more of my friends about my fic habit, but they really don't care about fandom. I'm a little embarrassed about writing slash. I don't know why. I'm not embarrassed to say, hey, I'm bi, but then again that's relating real life to fanfiction and that's kind of weird.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I remember one day at school your mom had some computer printouts and I asked her what she was reading and she told me it was fanfic. Have you ever asked her about what kind of fanfic she reads? Haha. *is curious* I'm surprised your mom doesn't know about your fic. Or at least that you've written it.

[tinkerbell99.livejournal.com]

This thread absolutely fascinates me.

I know the root of it was slash, and while I read and sorta write it on occasion, it's sort of a small part of my fandom experience.

What fascinates me is how people do or do not let people in RL into the fic thing.

NO ONE in real life knows that I read or write fic. NO ONE in RL knows about my LJ. I'm frankly pretty terrified of anyone finding out. I have a feeling my husband would just roll his eyes and not be surprised (lol!) but I guard this secret like...um...really nothing else ever.

Interesting to see people have "come out" after years of hiding the fic thing. I wish I felt comfortable enough to do that. It bothers me that I don't. But then again, writing is MY thing and just MY thing that I do for ME.

Thanks for this thread!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I don't really think there's anything wrong in keeping it to yourself. But it is certainly interesting. I mean true, most "reading habits" aren't kept under the table, but fanfic is totally different because of the kinds of stories they are - that is, borrowed characters and worlds. Hopefully one day you can find the courage to share with your husband. You should start with him if you think he'll react the way you described up there. *encourages*

[mofic.livejournal.com]

I don't hide, but I don't talk about it with everyone, either. I'm a slasher. Writing and reading slash (and reading other fanfic sometimes, too) is a hobby of mine. If someone asks "What are your hobbies?" I generally mention it. I have published essays about writing it (on advocate.com and in the feminist periodical Off Our Backs). I write about it in my lj, and the url for my lj is in the sig line of all my personal (i.e. non-work) emails, but like this: "mofic.livejournal.com, but it's mostly fannish stuff." I write fanfic under a pseudonym, but put my real name on both my lj info page and my fic archive. So, I'm not hiding.

That said, people are often bored by other people's hobbies. I don't go on and on about fannish things with people who aren't interested. I'm happy to try to explain what I write/read to someone who is interested, and I recognize that it does take some explaining to get across *why* I would want to write stories about mutant superheroes who have sex with each other. I think I have some good reasons, but it's not a common thing people encounter. If they'd like to hear more I will tell them. Some of my friends and family have been interested, some not. I think the same would be true if I collected butterflies or was a bird watcher.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

That said, people are often bored by other people's hobbies.

This is very very true and an interesting point. Maybe the reason we don't talk about it, is not because no one will understand - but because no one will care? Hehehe. And you're definitely right about the explanation not being worth it in most cases.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

I'm inclined to refrain from talking about fannish things (which would be as much hiding as I usually do) to avoid commentary that upsets me.
To be a bit more specific, my mother is very tolerant for the most part, but she does have the whole christian "homosexuality is sin!" bit very ingrained in her. I avoid commenting too much about slash to her for sake of not being subject to such a speech from her, since my opinions on the matter differ a fair bit and I'm terrible at debating.

I also tend to be well aware that I'm not likely to run into many fanficcers IRL, so if I mention fanfic, I tend to be very general about it.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I absolutely believe that what we share has a direct correlation with whom we're sharing with. Like in the case with your mother, you don't talk about slash because she would be uncomfortable with the topic and/or judgmental of you for it. So is it an internal issue, or entirely dependent on outside factors? Probably a mix of both, but you can't change those external factors with sheer will.

[quoshara.livejournal.com]

I don't say much about the fact that I write slash or het... not because it's fanfiction, but because of where I live ((the Bible Belt)). My tongue is black enough as it is from being bitten on a daily basis, so I add no fuel to the fire.

Oddly enough, the three people that I know in real life that are aware of the kind of thing I write are my sister, and my two children. As a matter of fact, my darling daughter is on LJ and frequently sports an icon that says, "My mommy writes porn? Cool!" My son does think my slash writing is a bit odd, but since he's been in fandom from birth, it doesn't truly seem to bother him.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Hah, that is great that you have that family support. Probably very rare as well!

[shay-renoylds.livejournal.com]

See, I'm doing my MA research paper on wincest and my supervisor gave me the strangest look when I explained to him what exactly it was I was doing.

Incest and Erotica (especially gay erotica for women) is incredibly taboo -- even if it's commonplace. Yaoi fans may live and breath it in Japan, but it's still in the "back room" and it's not openly discussed (normally) outside of a fan context.

It's an area that's incredibly closeted -- and the fan "closet" has seemed to complete its arc around women for a long, long time. It gets poked at because it's "illegal" ("lords save us all if the PTB come down on our heads") or it's problematic because it's immoral ("people might talk") but that really comes down to the gender divide at the end of the day because male fan activities are mocked to a certain degree, but not closeted. There's films about them.

Women are stuck in their room and told they still can't have one of their own. Because at the end of the day it's still a form of queer lit in many ways, and that's a "problem".

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I hate to sound like a total "n00b" but what's Yaoi? I have seen these terms tossed around but never in any of my fandoms so I don't know what that means.

Women are stuck in their room and told they still can't have one of their own. Because at the end of the day it's still a form of queer lit in many ways, and that's a "problem".

Sad, but true. What a interesting research paper to be working on! Good luck with that!

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

Guess I will toss in my cents about being a slasher.
A few friends know and my brother (because he actually looked at my livejournal when I sent him a link and browsed around).

No way am I telling my parents, though I think that is mostly because I have been slashing since I was 17 and I had a huge paranoia of them taking away/not paying for my computer/internet.
They are boarderline homophobic, so it would be a big deal to them.

I used to show them things I had written before, back when I wrote original stories, but they never really seemed all that interested in my writing, so it is super easy to hide the fact that I slash from them.

And I think RPS would blow their minds, hehe.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. RPS. Yeah that's a mind-boggler. Even for some fen! I don't blame you at all!

[cynatnite.livejournal.com]

I don't hide it. Husband and kids know what I do. Oldest two and the husband knows it's slash. It's a hobby and something I enjoy.

The rest of the family doesn't know. They'd probably give me weird looks because they're RW christian types who think gays are sinful and that bush is the greatest president of our time. *sigh* What can I say? They are my family.

I don't mention my slash hobby or my atheism to them for one reason: exploding heads are very messy.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

The rest of the family doesn't know. They'd probably give me weird looks because they're RW christian types who think gays are sinful and that bush is the greatest president of our time. *sigh* What can I say? They are my family.

Boy do I know what that is like! It definitely comes down to the audience theory I mentioned before. It's all about who you're telling.

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

Oooh, let's see. Most, if not all, of my RL friends are either slashers themselves or slasher-friendly. I met my husband on LJ, and he's a fanboy who reads the occasional gen, het or f/f fic (but not m/m, 'cause he's a straight guy who doesn't like reading about two guys getting it on).

The only person I know I would consider a friend who doesn't know about fandom is a (male) coworker, and our friendship is pretty much kept to the confines of work and facebook.

My family pretty much knows. I tried to keep it from them for years when I lived with them, but they found out, which actually resulted in a lot of unpleasantness for me. Even now I'm barely on speaking terms with them.

My best friends for years have been the local slashfen, wherever I went. I've not been much with the convention attendance, but I've still managed to meet dozens of slashfen who I consider dear friends (and a few times, girlfriends).

So I guess, in summation, it's not so much that I hide, it's more than my social interactions are basically pretty much only with slashfen or slashfriendly people, and I like it like that.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

My family pretty much knows. I tried to keep it from them for years when I lived with them, but they found out, which actually resulted in a lot of unpleasantness for me. Even now I'm barely on speaking terms with them.

That's so shocking to me. You don't speak because of your fanfic habits? Wow. WOW. I just. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.

[doro-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, I did not have much of a choice when it came to hiding my fandom-self. Back then I still lived at home and the only computer stood in the living room. They were bound to notice that I spent an awful lot of time reading fanfic.

I did not tell them about my slash obsession for a long time, though. My brother figured it out all by himself, and now I can talk about fannish things with him, as long as I explain them carefully and leave out the explicit sex.

My mum still doesn't get slash, though. I tried to explain it, but she's an oldschool Christian. She doesn't hate gays, she just thinks it's "unnatural". But I guess she's okay with it now. She reads my website and journal, and whenever there's something slashy, she just ignores it. After all, I write original fiction as well, and not all of it is slash.

My friends are... well, mostly as obsessed as I am. My best friend is my beta-reader, and my roommate reads more fic than I do. Not mine, though, I write in German and she refuses to read anything but English fic. And all of them are open about their involvement in fandom as well.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

So maybe that was a blessing in disguise huh? You had no choice but to not hide it and now you seem to be surrounded by people who, if they don't get it, at least know about it and accept it. That's awesome.

Here via Metafandom

[zyna-kat.livejournal.com]

I think it has more to do with fanfic in general than it has to do with the slash.

I agree. I'm much more likely to tell someone I'm bisexual, or even that I read porn, than I am to tell them I'm into fandom. Media fandom is still seen as a silly waste of time.

Re: Here via Metafandom

[crickets.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And sure there are worse things to be, but being put down like that isn't exactly anyone's idea of a good time.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

I'm honest with friends if it comes up (and if they aren't judgmental it eventually does), but I don't care to spend my energy educating and "converting" people who aren't interested.

I get enough flack from acquaintances and co-workers for being a sci-fi fan and comic book reader. I know from experience how the mockers react to fanfic and slash. I don't need the grief. Frankly, it makes me want to punch some of them, and that's not something I want feel, so I am not creating the situation when it will arise.

I'll just keep having fun over her with like-minded folks.

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I get enough flack from acquaintances and co-workers for being a sci-fi fan and comic book reader.

I said to someone above, what is the real difference between die-hard sports fans and die-hard sci-fi fans. Why is one thing seemingly socially acceptable and even "normal," while the other is socially outcast? Doesn't make much sense to me!

[angelachristian.livejournal.com]

That´s my slash-outing, lol. First of all I´m an adult, so my parents don´t have to know about what I write or not and they don´t care about any kind of fanfiction or fandom. To them it´s just not interessting wether Kara gets Lee or Leoben or even Leoben Lee ;-)because they don´t like battlesstar or A-team or any fandomstuff. The people I know aren´t interessted in TVseries either, so it´s useless to tell them about.

Why does nobody call Ron D.Moore a freak, he even get´s payed for writing that wired tv stuff ;-)
If I were a screenwriter or author, nobody would find it wired at all.


And why should it be wrong to ship same-sex-couples, that´s what slash actually is, when Movies like Brokeback Mountain are ok , too.
What´s wrong about love/sex storys about homosexuals ? I can deal with the sex, but I find fluffy/cheasy lovescenes horrible.
So far, I slashed Gaeta/Baltar and Gaeta/Zarek, youngTigh/youngAdama(more crack) as well as Cain/kara, Kara/original character.

About PWP, I say there is no pwp in fanficslash, because you always know the characters and realtionships from TV and the pwp story is just aditional material to it like a deleted scene.It must always be seen in the serie´s context to be understood right.