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kricketsSnow day! I have been looking through del.icio.us for slash meta to help me brainstorm for ideas when we talk about why there is so little Battlestar slash in the fandom over at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
bsg_slashathon. I haven't found much that is particularly useful when it comes to that discussion, but I am finding plenty of other thought-provoking topics.
One is the following entry, The Slash Closet by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fairestcat, written about a year and a half ago. While the entry is dated, I don't think the topic is.
In it, she talks about how slashers are a relatively closeted bunch, who tend to hide their fannish activities from the people in their lives. Not only that, but she talks about how it seems like the normal thing to do. The post opens up the floor for discussion as to why that is. Why the secrecy? Why is it seemingly the status quo?
My thoughts:
This may be redundant, but personally, I think it has more to do with fanfic in general than it has to do with the slash. I read and write both het and slash fic, and my family and those close to me don't really know much about either.
Why? Simply put; they just don't get it. I might as well wear dead birds in my hair or start eating live snakes for breakfast or something. I would just get strange looks and a dismissive, "Huh, well isn't that interesting."
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I don't go to great pains to hide the fact that I participate in fandom. And while I'm not giving most close to me my livejournal address, I'm sure my mother knows I at least read and/or write fic, but beyond that, they don't know very much with some exceptions. While I do show my family and friends my vids on occasion, they just wouldn't understand fan fiction, what it is, that its purpose is, or why I participate in it.
In their eyes, most specifically, my parents, it would be putting my good talent to waste. It's not productive, it doesn't contribute to the household or to society, so it would be seen as pointless and looked down upon. I choose to keep it in the closet so-to-speak, because I don't feel like being belittled for something that is essentially a hobby.
A few of my friends get it, and I do share that part of myself with those select few. Others get the writing aspect and I have reluctantly shared some of my fic with them, but nothing sexually explicit that's over PG-13. Which is for the same reasons that I suspect a guy wouldn't show his mom, or his girlfriend (usually) or his colleagues his playboy collection for the sake of being "open and honest."
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Now, I'm not equivocating either het fic or slash fic with that sort of pornography. I, personally, don't see it that way in most cases. (Though I can't exactly justify pure PWP in any other way - haha.) But it doesn't matter whether I see it that way or not, because people outside of fandom would see it that way.
(Note: I have to say that if I did have a SO, my fic wouldn't be something I'd want to hide from him at all.)
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I do feel that it was a bit disheartening to see fannish habits put into the same category as sexuality. As though to say that by hiding the fact that you're a slasher is like hiding who you truly are. Let's say I really really like cooking shows, but since I'm a horrible cook, I don't tell anyone about it, and I only watch them when I'm alone. Would that be put into the same "self-denying/hiding" category?
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I think worth noting here is Wincest and other incestuous pairings. I have shown my mother my Jawyer vid. (Her response: "I'm sure they would appreciate you making it look like they're gay, KC!") But I don't think I'd ever show her a Wincest vid or a Jawyercita (or Jack/Claire) vid. I feel pretty confident in saying that incest is an entirely different animal, whether the pairing is same-sex or opposite-sex.
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Another thing I wonder about is perspective. There are people who only slash. There are people who only het. (And probably gen as well, but let's leave them out of it.) And there are people who do both het and slash. I fall into that latter category, so I can comparatively say, that what I share with friends and family isn't effected by whether it's slash or het, it's equal all-around.
So what do you guys think? Do you hide/separate your slash habits from your real life? What do you think that means or doesn't mean? Why? Why not? Etc. etc. blah blah blah, GO!
Poorly constructed indeed! Forget about the poll. I had to do it multiple times and the last time I forgot to include options for people who don't share at all. (The first two times I made it I did though. Rats!)
bsg_slashathon. I haven't found much that is particularly useful when it comes to that discussion, but I am finding plenty of other thought-provoking topics.One is the following entry, The Slash Closet by
fairestcat, written about a year and a half ago. While the entry is dated, I don't think the topic is. In it, she talks about how slashers are a relatively closeted bunch, who tend to hide their fannish activities from the people in their lives. Not only that, but she talks about how it seems like the normal thing to do. The post opens up the floor for discussion as to why that is. Why the secrecy? Why is it seemingly the status quo?
My thoughts:
This may be redundant, but personally, I think it has more to do with fanfic in general than it has to do with the slash. I read and write both het and slash fic, and my family and those close to me don't really know much about either.
Why? Simply put; they just don't get it. I might as well wear dead birds in my hair or start eating live snakes for breakfast or something. I would just get strange looks and a dismissive, "Huh, well isn't that interesting."
-
I don't go to great pains to hide the fact that I participate in fandom. And while I'm not giving most close to me my livejournal address, I'm sure my mother knows I at least read and/or write fic, but beyond that, they don't know very much with some exceptions. While I do show my family and friends my vids on occasion, they just wouldn't understand fan fiction, what it is, that its purpose is, or why I participate in it.
In their eyes, most specifically, my parents, it would be putting my good talent to waste. It's not productive, it doesn't contribute to the household or to society, so it would be seen as pointless and looked down upon. I choose to keep it in the closet so-to-speak, because I don't feel like being belittled for something that is essentially a hobby.
A few of my friends get it, and I do share that part of myself with those select few. Others get the writing aspect and I have reluctantly shared some of my fic with them, but nothing sexually explicit that's over PG-13. Which is for the same reasons that I suspect a guy wouldn't show his mom, or his girlfriend (usually) or his colleagues his playboy collection for the sake of being "open and honest."
-
Now, I'm not equivocating either het fic or slash fic with that sort of pornography. I, personally, don't see it that way in most cases. (Though I can't exactly justify pure PWP in any other way - haha.) But it doesn't matter whether I see it that way or not, because people outside of fandom would see it that way.
(Note: I have to say that if I did have a SO, my fic wouldn't be something I'd want to hide from him at all.)
-
I do feel that it was a bit disheartening to see fannish habits put into the same category as sexuality. As though to say that by hiding the fact that you're a slasher is like hiding who you truly are. Let's say I really really like cooking shows, but since I'm a horrible cook, I don't tell anyone about it, and I only watch them when I'm alone. Would that be put into the same "self-denying/hiding" category?
-
I think worth noting here is Wincest and other incestuous pairings. I have shown my mother my Jawyer vid. (Her response: "I'm sure they would appreciate you making it look like they're gay, KC!") But I don't think I'd ever show her a Wincest vid or a Jawyercita (or Jack/Claire) vid. I feel pretty confident in saying that incest is an entirely different animal, whether the pairing is same-sex or opposite-sex.
-
Another thing I wonder about is perspective. There are people who only slash. There are people who only het. (And probably gen as well, but let's leave them out of it.) And there are people who do both het and slash. I fall into that latter category, so I can comparatively say, that what I share with friends and family isn't effected by whether it's slash or het, it's equal all-around.
So what do you guys think? Do you hide/separate your slash habits from your real life? What do you think that means or doesn't mean? Why? Why not? Etc. etc. blah blah blah, GO!
Poorly constructed indeed! Forget about the poll. I had to do it multiple times and the last time I forgot to include options for people who don't share at all. (The first two times I made it I did though. Rats!)
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-18 02:56 pm (UTC)the thing is that I discovered fanfic on my own quite recently (and mostly by accident, 3 years ago) and to my knowledge, no one I know in RL is aware or interested in it. so yeah, I think they would not get it and therefore judge me in a way. raise their eyebrows and think "what a stupid waste of time. you are 35 years old, with children, I'd get it from a teen".
This fall, in the bus, I've seen a woman my age reading a printout of a story from Fanfiction.net (yes, I may glance over sometimes, I am one of those annoying curious persons! lol). I was fascinated. the first outward manifestation that I am not alone in this city doing it (I KNOW I am not alone! lol! but it seems like it!). I don't watch Gilmore Girls, but I saw the fandom and "Dean" and I know that is Jared so I was all squeeing inside: OMG! maybe she's a Jared fangirl? She was so raptured in her reading, but was sorta defensive and hiding the paper (from me, the annoying fuck probably! lol!) so I just kept my mouth shut.
My family knows I have an internet life but I am so very vague about it. I've went on trips to meet friends and even brought Marti home at my parents for New Years but "we like the same TV shows". They don't know about fanfiction. I NEVER talked to my family about sex, I will not say I'm writing porn either! I'd be mortified. and Wincest? That's just... No.
My husband does know about my reading and writing of fanfiction, and he doesn't seem to care. hiding it from him would have been too much of a hassle, and I know he's understanding of my fannish activities. I did tell him I wrote porn: it turned him on, I think he's curious. I told him about slash? he think it's weird. So I didn't tell him I write mostly slash. it is hiding by omission, and I don't like it.
Having no one in real life to speak about slash/fanfic became a bit much for me, and I guess I was in a talkative phase so I confessed everything to a friend of mine, one I have known for about 3 years and been closer for like 6 months (so a new friend, not one that expect me to be a certain way because she's known me for 15 years). I was SO nervous to do it. and she was driving at the time and it became awkward for a little while. She didn't get it, or so I thought. But I kept on talking, and talking (Wincest was mentioned! lol!) and I think she thought I was crazy! But days later, she began teasing me about it (I could see that her opinion of me being very vanilla, which I look like, switched so I am now "crazy") and it was ok. she asked to read, I sent her something very low on the explicit factor. She seemed to like. so maybe, just maybe, we all worry for nothing and should be bolder.
but I am not ready yet.
(hee, look at that, ramble ramble!)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 05:34 pm (UTC)Reading everyone's stories, especially yours about your friend, prompted me to tell one of my dearest friends about it. (In e-mail.) I even directed her to this post. She's open minded enough, very much so, so I don't think I ever had anything to fear. But we'll see how it goes. Haha.